Life Events: Travel

There is this little known feature called Life Events on Facebook. It's not new and I had used it a long while ago, but I started updating the Travel section of it again recently. I did it in a simpler way this round: just the name of the destination, the arrival date and a photo of mine. 

Soon I got hooked by what I did here. There's something about figuring out the details that I so enjoyed doing. Cross-checking the dates on Swarm and Timeline on Google Maps, browsing the old photos on Google Cloud and verifying when they were taken, the activities were amusing!

It became more difficult as I progressed further back in time, though. My Swarm check-ins were only up until July 2014. Google Timeline ended around the same time, too. I had reached year 2010 now. I reckon this could only go as far back as the time I started using digital cameras circa 2004. Anything older than that would be difficult to track.

As I did this, I learnt a couple of things about my life, too. For a person who fancied traveling, it had been a life well-traveled. The past three years had been fun, about 20 destinations a year, covering Asia, Europe and Australia. I had lesser trips before COVID-19 due to numerous reasons: family matters, work, and probably the hassle of obtaining visa, too, since I used to be an Indonesian passport holder. In hindsight, they all made sense.

On top of that, the Life Events gave me a chance to look back at the travel companions as well. Or the lack of it. Yes, even travelling solo was also an option at times! All this brought back the good times I had with each and every group: good friends of mine, some random colleagues, my family, parents. It also gave me an idea of what I haven't done. How about a trip with the cousins? We've been talking about it.

But most importantly, it gave me the perspective of how long I had been doing this. Counting from the day I applied for the passport myself and went to Kuching with Parno, it had been 25 years since then. It had been a long journey from my early 20s to mid 40s, one that was filled with all the places I had been, all the people I had traveled with, all the memories and laughter that were created along the way. 

Maybe I had been blessed, considering that I was never a smart person to begin with. I don't know. But given the Life Events I had gone through for the past two and a half decades, I do know this: I've lived a life well-lived. Even if I had to fail tomorrow, at the very least I already had a good run for 25 years. To me, life is never about how long you live, but how good the quality is.  

My point is, if you are ever too busy preparing for the future that you fail to live your life today, then perhaps it's time to stop and re-examine it again. If you noticed you had missed so much, if you hadn't been achieving your dreams for quite some time, if it felt like you had been living only for someone else, then life probably had taken a wrong turn. Time to fix that. Like I said earlier, I am not very smart. If I could do it, I reckon a lot of people can do it, too. 

The Life Events.

Life Events: Travel

Di Facebook ada sebuah fitur bernama Life Events yang mungkin jarang diketahui oleh banyak orang. Ini bukanlah fitur baru dan sudah pernah saya gunakan bertahun-tahun silam, namun belakangan ini saya perbaharui lagi khusus di bagian Travel. Kali ini cara saya lebih ringkas dari sebelumnya: hanya nama tujuan, tanggal ketibaan dan juga sebuah foto saya. 

Ternyata saya jadi kecanduan dengan apa yang saya lakukan ini. Saya suka mencari tahu detil liburan saya. Saya bandingkan tanggalnya di Swarm dan Timeline di Google Maps, lalu saya cari pula foto-foto di Google Cloud dan verifikasi tanggalnya. 

Apa yang saya kerjakan ini menjadi kian rumit seiring dengan lamanya tahun yang sudah berlalu. Informasi di akun Swarm saya hanya sampai bulan July 2014. Google Timeline pun berakhir di periode yang hampir sama. Saya sudah update hingga tahun 2010 sekarang. Saya perkirakan mungkin cuma bisa sampai pada saat saya pertama kali menggunakan kamera digital pada tahun 2004. Liburan yang terjadi sebelum era digital akan lebih susah dilacak. 

Dalam proses pengerjaan ini, saya belajar beberapa hal tentang hidup saya. Sebagai orang yang suka berjalan-jalan, sebagian besar hidup ini sudah saya lakoni sesuai dengan keinginan saya. Tiga tahun terakhir sangat ekstensif, kira-kira 20 destinasi per tahun, mencakup Eropa, Asia dan Australia. Liburan saya jauh lebih sedikit di zaman sebelum COVID-19 dikarenakan berbagai hal: urusan keluarga, pekerjaan dan juga mungkin disebabkan oleh perlunya visa, karena saya dulu memegang paspor Indonesia.  

Di samping itu, fitur Life Events juga memberikan saya kesempatan untuk melihat kembali teman seperjalanan saya. Atau absennya teman seperjalanan, karena perjalanan seorang diri pun bisa menjadi opsi. Semua ini membawa kembali masa-masa gembira bersama setiap kelompok yang bepergian bersama saya: teman-teman karib, para kolega yang tidak begitu saya kenal sebelumnya, keluarga dan juga orang tua saya. Hal yang sama juga memberikan ide tentang apa yang belum saya lakukan. Bagaimana pula dengan liburan bersama para sepupu? Kita kini mulai membicarakannya. 

Namun yang paling penting adalah perspektif yang saya dapatkan. Berapa lama sudah saya menjalani hidup seperti ini. Mulai dari hari saya memohon paspor dan berangkat bersama Parno ke Kuching, 25 tahun sudah berlalu semenjak itu. Ini adalah sebuah perjalanan yang panjang dari usia awal 20an sampai pertengahan 40an. Sebuah petualangan yang dipenuhi dengan aneka tujuan yang saya kunjungi, orang-orang yang berlibur bersama saya, serta kenangan dan tawa yang tercipta sewaktu kita berjalan-jalan. 

Mungkin saya diberkati, terutama bila mengingat kembali bahwa saya bukanlah orang pintar. Saya tidak tahu pasti. Tapi berdasarkan Life Events yang telah saya lewati selama dua setengah dekade, saya tahu pasti hal berikut ini: saya sudah hidup sepenuh hati. Bahkan jika saya harus gagal di keesokan hari, setidaknya saya sudah menjalani 25 tahun yang penuh cerita dan sesuai dengan apa yang saya inginkan. Bagi saya, hidup ini bukan tentang berapa lama kita hidup, tapi sebagus apa kualitasnya semasa kita hidup. 

Maksud saya, bilamana anda terlalu sibuk dengan persiapan untuk masa depan sampai-sampai anda tidak menikmati hari ini, mungkin sudah waktunya anda berhenti dan memeriksa kembali pola hidup anda. Jika anda melewatkan banyak hal yang seharusnya bisa anda nikmati, jika anda tak ingat kapan terakhir kali anda mewujudkan impian anda, jika anda sampai merasa bahwa anda hanya hidup demi orang lain, mungkin hidup anda telah salah langkah. Sudah waktunya untuk memperbaiki kesalahan ini. Seperti yang saya katakan sebelumnya, saya tidak terlalu pintar. Jikalau saya bisa, saya rasa pasti banyak orang yang bisa melakukan hal serupa.

Parno And Friends

It's another Jakarta trip with Parno! The last time we did that together was probably right after my college graduation, when we were young adults trying our luck in Jakarta. 23 years had passed since then! So we left Soekarno-Hatta with the same excitement we had. It was always fun traveling with Parno. He was like our Ringo, minus the talents, wahaha.

Landed in Jakarta!

First stop, Pamulang. We went there to meet BL at his computer shop. What we saw when we arrived was the offloading of computers. Stocking up, a sign of good business, I reckon. As we said it in our group, biggest orders in Indonesia! That's how he made it to Europe. And BL was kind enough to buy us a Sundanese breakfast.

Brunch with BL.

Next destination was Bakso Ikan Telur Asin Ahan. Parno had to make his cuttlefish delivery, but once done, it was a couple of old friends hanging out. Junaidi, a former bandmate and a travel buddy to Bandung, came to join us, too. We had a bowl of fishballs and chit-chatted until it was time for me to do what I came to Jakarta for: the meetup with my ex-colleagues from Kalbe.

With Hardy, Henny and Junaidi.

Once I was done with the lunch (my third meal in my first four hours in Jakarta), Jun and Parno picked me up. Hardy and wife, the owners of Bakso Ikan, had already made their way to Bogor for the half marathon. As for us, we headed to Alvin's place for some chiropractic. All three of us needed it and it felt good afterwards. And it got better with home-cooked fried rice from Alvin's wife! A perfect end for the rainy day!

Alvin in action.

Our next day began with donuts and coffee at Dunkin' that was within walking distance from Yello Hotel. When we returned to our room, we made a video call to Ardian. Endrico joined us not long after that. Just four old friends talking nonsense. Probably what we needed!

Breakfast at Dunkin'.

Then came the time for us to make our way to Alu for some hometown flavours. Oh yes, Alu's chicken rice is an authentic Pontianak cuisine. Best eaten while it's hot, we ate it fast and furiously the moment it was served. The food that made me, so delicious and nostalgic. For about 10 minutes, I was once again that little boy from my dear hometown.

At Alu.

Friends started coming after we finished our meal. In no time, there were 12 of us. Someone suggested that we have taken up the seats meant for business, so we moved to somewhere meant to be occupied for a long period of time: Starbucks. And long we did stay, from about 1 PM till dinner time. 

At Starbucks.

That was close to five hours of hanging out. What did we do, you might ask? Well, we were bunch of old friends. The chemistry just worked. And we hadn't seen each other for a long time. There were a lot of things to talk about. Anything. And I enjoyed being there, either getting engaged in a conversation or simply as a bystander watching the togetherness unfold. The atmosphere, the laughter, the happy faces, it was just beautiful.

Waiting in front of Tio Ciu 78.

While we were at Starbucks, Yardi, Muliady The and Yoviana came while Cicilia and Hendra returned home. As day turned into night, we made our way to Tio Ciu 78, an eatery opened by my primary school friend. The place was packed and patrons had to queue. As BL said it correctly, the food had a taste of hometown flavours, too. 

Dinner time.

Eventually, there was just a few of us left. We had our dessert at Happy Day before calling it a night. When we were back to Yello Hotel, I asked Parno, "do you realize that we spent the whole day just around our hotel?" It was a time well spent. 

McD with Parno.

The next morning, Parno and I walked to McDonald's. The outlets in Indonesia have Paket Panas, a menu consisting of rice, scrambled egg and fried chicken that I like. We also made a couple of short video calls with Lui Hong in Brunei, Hendri Muliadi who happened to be in Singkawang and Hartono in Jogja. When all things were said and done, all good things must come to an end. Parno and I headed to the airport, parted ways to return to where we came from...

Heading back!

Parno Dan Teman-Teman

Saatnya untuk petualangan di Jakarta bersama Parno lagi! Terakhir kali kita bersama ke Jakarta mungkin terjadi setelah wisuda, ketika kita mulai merantau dan mengadu nasib. Jadi kita pun keluar dari Soekarno-Hatta dengan berseri. Perjalanan bersama Parno selalu menyenangkan. Dia seperti Ringo generasi kita, tapi tanpa bakat serupa, wahaha.

Mendarat di Jakarta!

Pemberhentian pertama, Pamulang. Kita mengunjungi toko komputer BL. Sesampainya di sana, kita melihat barang-barang yang sedang diturunkan dari mobil. Bisnis bagus, stok baru. Seperti yang sering kita bahas di grup SMA, order terbesar di Indonesia. Makanya bisa ke Eropa. Dan BL dengan senang hati mengajak kita sarapan makanan Sunda.

Ditraktir BL.

Tujuan berikutnya adalah Bakso Ikan Telur Asin Ahan. Parno datang mengantarkan pesanan Hardy dan begitu tugasnya selesai, kita nongkrong di situ sebagai teman lama. Junaidi, mantan pemain bas di grup saya dan juga teman seperjalanan ke Bandung dulu, datang dan turut bergabung. Kita makan bakso dan mengobrol sampai tiba waktunya bagi saya untuk bertemu dengan teman-teman Kalbe. 

Bersama Hardy, Henny dan Junaidi.

Setelah kelar makan siang (porsi ketiga saya dalam empat jam pertama di Jakarta), Jun dan Parno datang menjemput. Hardy dan istri, pemilik Kedai Bakso Ikan, sudah dalam perjalanan ke Bogor untuk perlombaan setengah maraton. Kita akhirnya melaju ke tempat Alvin untuk pijat. Sedap rasanya setelah diurut. Dan makin sedap lagi karena kita ditraktir makan nasi goreng buatan istri Alvin. Makan malam yang pas di senja mendung menjelang hujan. 

Alvin beraksi!

Keesokan paginya dimulai dengan donat dan kopi di Dunkin' yang terletak tak jauh dari Yello Hotel. Ketika kita kembali ke kamar, kita menelepon Ardian. Tak lama kemudian, Endrico pun turut bergabung. Empat teman lama berbincang santai. Sesuatu yang sungguh kita butuhkan, saya rasa. 

Sarapan di Dunkin'.

Selanjutnya kita pergi ke Nasi Campur Alu. Oh ya, ini menu otentik Pontianak. Paling baik disantap selagi hangat, kita langsung makan dengan lahap begitu disajikan. Lezat dan juga penuh nostalgia makanannya. Selama 10 menit itu, sekali lagi saya merasa seperti bocah dari Pontianak. 

Makan di Alu.

Teman-teman mulai berdatangan setelah kita menghabiskan sepiring nasi. Tak lama kemudian, ada 12 orang memenuhi tempat makan. Karena tidak baik bagi kita untuk menempati kursi yang seharusnya dipakai untuk berbisnis, kita lalu pindah ke tempat yang lebih cocok untuk nongkrong jangka panjang: Starbucks. Dan kita berada lama di sana, dari sekitar jam satu siang sampai waktu makan malam. 

Di Starbucks.

Jadi kira-kira lima jam lamanya kita berkumpul. Apa yang saja kita lakukan? Jadi kita ini sekumpulan teman lama. Pokoknya ada kebersamaan. Dan kita sudah lama tidak berjumpa, jadi ada banyak yang bisa dibicarakan. Dan saya suka berada di sana, melibatkan diri dalam percakapan ataupun menyaksikan indahnya kebersamaan. Suasananya, tawanya, wajah-wajah yang gembira, memang indah. 

Menanti giliran di Tio Ciu 78.

Sewaktu kita berada di Starbucks, Yardi, Muliady The dan Yoviana datang sementara Cicilia dan Hendra pulang ke Karawang. Ketika malam tiba, kita pergi ke Tio Ciu 78, sebuah tempat makan yang dibuka oleh seorang teman SD. Tempatnya ramai dan pengunjung mesti antri. Seperti yang dikatakan BL, makanannya memiliki cita rasa Pontianak. 

Makan malam.

Pada akhirnya, hanya beberapa di antara kita yang tersisa. Kita lanjut ke Happy Day untuk minum sejenak sebelum bubaran. Dalam perjalanan pulang ke Yello Hotel, saya bertanya pada Parno, apakah dia sadar bahwa kita baru saja menghabiskan waktu seharian di sekitar hotel. Memang tidak terasa kalau waktu tepat guna. 

McD bersama Parno.

Di pagi berikutnya, Parno dan saya berjalan ke McDonald's. Ada Paket Panas di McD Indonesia yang menunya adalah nasi, telur goreng dan ayam goreng. Saya suka ini. Seusai makan, kita kembali ke hotel dan menelepon Lui Hong di Brunei, Hendri Muliadi yang kebetulan ke Singkawang dan Hartono yang berada di Jogja. Setelah tiba waktunya, kita pun berangkat ke bandara dan pulang ke tempat masing-masing... 

Pulang ke tempat masing-masing!

Priorities And Effort

This story began last year, when I visited my ex-colleagues at Kalbe Farma in last November. Out of the blue, Yerry video-called Pak Chandra. Upon seeing the wrinkles on his face, I recalled my younger days, too, when he was kind enough to include me in the trip to Bali. At that time, Pak Chandra was roughly about my age now. Two decades had passed since then. 

Visiting Kalbe in November 2024.

Pak Chandra said he'd like to meet me again and I politely said okay. When the conversation ended, his words lingered for a couple of months like an unfulfilled promised. Then came the last push I needed: the death of a doctor that worked together with us before at Kalbe. This got me thinking that if any moment could be our one last time, I might as well take it while I could. As we exited the Pink City in Jaipur, I finally texted Pak Chandra and confirmed that, yes, we should meet in May. 

And since we were going to meet, I thought it'd be fun to throw a few more people in, too. The IT colleagues that used to hang out with Pak Chandra and I. We had good times then, so why didn't we meet again? It had been a long while since the last time we did that, so I formed a group and added the core members in on the same day.

The meet up in 2010. Patno was the one with his face covered.

Thus began the planning. Looking back, it was kinda awkward and typical, though. First reaction was, we were in January and May was still a long way to go. As we headed to May, I asked for meeting places. Only Pak Chandra and Patno responded. It was consistently like that until the day we actually met at Pagi Sore. Only the two of them turned up. 

As we sat down, Pak Chandra mumbled it was too much that none had a courtesy to call and inform their whereabouts. As the only one who suggested where to eat, he said he simply responded to my questions. If the rest thought it was too far for them, they should have said something. And I smiled. That's the GA Manager I knew. Age clearly didn't diminish his outspokenness. 

Probably the only picture of Pak Chandra and I. 

When I stole a glance at my phone, I saw my ex-colleagues texted me. One said he was in office, the other said he was in Bekasi and the restaurant was too far for him. To think that that this was not a last minute plan, so one had easily more than four months to make a necessary arrangement. And I came from another country, if we wanted to talk about the distance.

Anyway, I did achieve what I set out to do. It was nice to listen to the quirky humor of Patno again. Most importantly, I got to meet Pak Chandra. We talked about the past and things that happened after I left. It gave me perspective of how far I had come. It felt good. 

Unexpectedly, I also learned a new lesson: priorities and effort. The experience was an eyeopener that to some who thinks you are a priority, they will make an effort. The same logic is also true for the exact opposite. You know where you stand in term of their priorities.

Prioritas Dan Upaya

Cerita kali ini dimulai tahun lalu, sewaktu saya mengunjungi para mantan kolega di Kalbe Farma pada bulan November. Tiba-tiba saja Yerry menelepon Pak Chandra lewat WhatsApp Video. Saat melihat rambut putih tipis dan kerutan di wajah beliau, saya terkenang masa saya di Kalbe, terutama saat Pak Chandra mengajak saya untuk turut berlibur ke Bali. Pada saat itu Pak Chandra mungkin seumuran dengan saya sekarang. Dua puluh tahun sudah berlalu semenjak itu. 

Mengunjungi Kalbe di bulan November 2024.

Pak Chandra berkata bahwa dia ingin bertemu lagi dengan saya dan permintaannya saya iyakan dengan sopan. Tatkala percakapan berakhir, kata-katanya terngiang tak ubahnya seperti janji yang belum ditepati. Tak berapa lama setelah itu, terjadi satu peristiwa yang mendorong saya untuk mewujudkan pertemuan kita: terdengar kabar bahwa seorang dokter kenalan kita di Kalbe telah meninggal. 

Kejadian ini membuat saya berpikir bahwa bila setiap saat bisa menjadi pertemuan terakhir, maka sudah sepatutnya saya melakukan sesuatu selagi saya bisa. Tatkala mobil yang saya tumpangi keluar dari kawasan Pink City di Jaipur, saya menghubungi Pak Chandra dan konfirmasi bahwa kita akan makan siang di bulan Mei. 

Dan mumpung kita akan bertemu, saya kira akan seru juga bila kita berkumpul lagi bersama para mantan rekan kerja lainnya. Ada banyak masa ceria yang dilalui bersama sewaktu di Kalbe dulu, jadi kenapa kita tidak bertemu lagi? Sudah lama sekali sejak kita berkumpul untuk terakhir kalinya, jadi saya pun lekas membentuk grup dan menambahkan beberapa anggota inti di hari itu juga. 

Pertemuan di tahun 2010. Patno agak ketutupan wajahnya. 

Jadi rencana pun mulai digarap. Namun bila dilihat lagi sekarang, polanya agak janggal dan sungkan. Reaksi pertama adalah, berhubung kita masih di bulan Januari dan Mei masih lama, jadi kenapa tergesa-gesa. Dan ketika bulan mulai silih berganti, saya bertanya lagi, di restoran mana kita akan berkumpul. Hanya Patno dan Pak Chandra yang merespon. Polanya konsisten seperti itu sampai di hari kita bertemu di Pagi Sore. Hanya mereka berdua yang datang. 

Saat kita duduk, Pak Chandra bergumam bahwa seharusnya yang lain memberikan kabar kalau tidak bisa hadir. Sewaktu Pak Chandra mengusulkan aneka restoran, seharusnya pula yang lain berkomentar apabila mereka keberatan. Dan saya tersenyum. Pensiunan manajer bagian Umum ini masih sama seperti dulu. Usia jelas tidak memudarkan gaya bicaranya yang blak-blakan. 

Saat saya mencuri pandang di WhatsApp saya, terlihat dua DM yang masuk. Satu berkata bahwa dia ada di kantor dan yang lain berujar bahwa dia ada di Bekasi dan lokasi restoran yang berada di Alam Sutera terlalu jauh baginya. Padahal kalau dipikirkan lagi, ini bukan rencana dadakan. Setiap orang punya waktu lebih dari empat bulan untuk melakukan persiapan yang diperlukan. Dan saya datang dari luar negeri kalau mau bicara soal jarak jauh yang perlu ditempuh. 

Mungkin satu-satunya foto yang ada Pak Chandra dan saya. 

Terlepas dari itu, saya sendiri mencapai apa yang saya rencanakan: sebuah janji yang terpenuhi. Saya senang mendengar humor Patno lagi. Dan tak kalah pentingnya pula, saya bisa bertemu Pak Chandra lagi. Kita berbicara tentang masa lalu dan apa yang terjadi setelah saya meninggalkan Kalbe. Semua ini memberikan perspektif, betapa jauh sudah saya melangkah dalam hidup. 

Secara tak sengaja, saya juga belajar satu pelajaran baru: tentang prioritas dan upaya. Pengalaman ini membuka wawasan saya bahwa bilamana anda adalah prioritas bagi seseorang, niscaya dia akan berupaya. Konsep yang sama juga berlaku sebaliknya. Anda jadi tahu, di mana sebenarnya posisi anda dalam prioritas orang lain... 

Life Story

One of the questions that is frequently asked by my friend Bernard is this: "what is the meaning of life?" From time to time, when I was in the mood, I'd tell him that, "we're here to make a dent in this world!" But to be frank, I don't think I know the answer to the question. 

Eight years and counting. Year nine now!

However, I learnt this one thing from doing Roadblog101.com for the past eight years: life is a story you want to write about. Yes, it's never about a series of mundane activities that you do on autopilot mode everyday. No, not that. Life has much to do with things that piqued your interest, so much so that you voluntarily put effort into it.

Listening is never as easy as it looks!

Life happens when you are the husband that listens to your wife enthusiastically. So not one that merely mumbles, "oh? Hmm. I see. Okay," or any one-liner that comes out of your mouth. I can vouch for this because that automatic response sometimes happened to me, too, haha.

She's growing up now!

Life happens when you realize that your daughter, that baby you carried dearly years ago, is now a teenager that is independent enough to commute on her own. Life happens when you went out with the other one, only to notice something that suddenly brought out your fatherly instinct to check and ensure that she was fine. 

With the staff in office.

Life happens when you are in office, planning and doing things not only because you are paid to do so, but also because you are passionate about your work and want to see it happen your way. If you work from 9 to 6 and you take half an hour to rise above the daily routines to make a difference, that half an hour is when life happens. 

Traveling! The thing I want to do, see and experience!

And finally, life happens when you have a vision of how you are going to live your life. Exciting stuff you want to do, things you want to see and experience while you are alive. Life is never about how long you live, especially if you live just to do nothing. No, that is just sad. Plainly sad.

So life happens when it inspires you. And you think it probably will inspire others, too. That moment, that achievement, even that failure that you sincerely hope won't be repeated by others. That kind of life is so worth living that I had been writing about it throughout the entire lifetime of Roadblog101.com. I may not know the meaning of life, but looking back, I surely know how to give a meaning to it...

Cerita Kehidupan 

Satu pertanyaan yang sering diulang oleh teman saya Bernard adalah, "apa sesungguhnya arti hidup ini?" Kadang selagi iseng, saya suka jawab seperti ini: "kita di sini untuk membuat perubahan di dunia ini." Kendati begitu, sejujurnya saya tidak tahu jawaban dari pertanyaannya itu. 

Sudah delapan tahun. Sekarang tahun ke-sembilan!

Meskipun demikian, saya belajar satu dari pengalaman saya dalam mengerjakan Roadblog101.com selama delapan tahun terakhir: hidup adalah sebuah cerita yang ingin anda tulis. Ya, hidup bukanlah rangkaian rutinitas yang sudah anda kerjakan sampai hafal setiap hari. Bukan, hidup bukan tentang itu. Anda hidup karena hal-hal yang memicu minat anda, yang menyebabkan anda mengerjakannya dengan sepenuh hati. 

Mendengarkan tidaklah segampang foto ini!

Hidup terjadi ketika anda adalah seorang suami yang mendengarkan istri anda dengan antusias. Jadi bukan hanya jawaban singkat seperti, "oh? Hmm. Ternyata begitu. Baiklah," dan lainnya yang terlontar dari mulut anda. Saya bisa menyokong pendapat ini karena respon otomatis seperti ini juga terkadang terjadi pada saya, haha. 

Setiap hari bertambah dewasa...

Hidup terjadi ketika anda menyadari bahwa putri anda, bayi yang anda gendong bertahun-tahun silam, kini sudah menjadi remaja yang mandiri dan bisa bepergian sendiri. Hidup terjadi ketika anda bepergian dengan putri yang satunya lagi dan menyadari sesuatu yang membuat anda secara naluriah menjadi seorang ayah yang memeriksa dan memastikan bahwa dia baik-baik saja. 

Bersama staff di kantor.

Hidup terjadi ketika anda berada di kantor, merencanakan dan melaksanakan berbagai inisiatif bukan saja karena anda digaji, tapi juga karena anda menyukai pekerjaan anda dan ingin mewujudkan ide anda. Jika anda bekerja dari jam 9 sampai jam 6 dan anda menyempatkan setengah jam saja untuk mengeksekusi ide anda, maka setengah jam itulah masa ketika hidup terjadi. 

Jalan-jalan! Sesuatu yang ingin saya kerjakan, lihat dan alami!

Dan akhirnya hidup terjadi ketika anda memiliki visi bagaimana anda ingin menjalani hidup anda. Misalnya hal apa yang menarik dan ingin anda kerjakan, apa yang ingin anda lihat dan alami selama anda masih hidup. Jadi hidup bukanlah tentang berapa panjang umur anda, terutama bila anda hanya hidup tapi begitu-begitu saja. Itu menyedihkan. Sangat menyedihkan. 

Jadi hidup terjadi ketika hidup itu sendiri menginspirasi anda. Dan anda jadi berpikir bahwa hal yang sama mungkin akan membuat yang lain terinspirasi juga. Kenangan, prestasi atau bahkan kegagalan yang anda harap tidak terulang lagi oleh mereka yang anda kenal. Hidup seperti ini sungguh layak, sampai-sampai saya sudah menuliskannya sepanjang usia Roadblog101.com yang kini sudah memasuki tahun ke-sembilan. Ya, saya mungkin tidak tahu arti dari hidup ini, tapi saya tahu bagaimana membuat hidup ini menjadi lebih berarti... 

A Father's Thought

Becoming a father is one of those life experiences you can never fully prepare for. No matter how much I tried to get ready, I had no real idea of what I was stepping into. The moment my daughters were born, I felt a mixture of awe and fear. Holding them for the first time felt like witnessing a miracle—here was life itself, entrusted to me. But along with that miracle came an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I knew from the start that I wouldn’t be able to be with them 24/7, and that thought haunted me. Questions swirled in my mind: will I be a good dad? Can I work as a team with their mum to raise them well? What will my daughters be like as they grow through the phases of their lives? The road ahead seemed long and uncertain, but one thing was clear—I was committed to never giving up on them. 

Having three daughters has been both a blessing and a challenge, but it’s also been the most rewarding experience of my life. All babies are born innocent, trusting the people closest to them completely. My daughters were no different—they were curious, pure, and full of joy. They listened (most of the time) to what we told them, even when it was something silly. Their smiles and laughter were genuine, lighting up every corner of our home. Of course, parenting wasn’t always smooth sailing. There were tantrums, stubborn moments, and times when their manners tested my patience. But even in those moments, they reminded me of the beauty of being their father—the good and bad, happy and sad, all woven together into this incredible journey. 

Daughter No. 1

From the very beginning, I saw her as cheerful, quick to learn, yet shy. As she started school, her personality became more defined—she was quiet, less confident than I had hoped, and preferred writing her feelings down instead of speaking about them. There was even a phase where we had this inexplicable distance between us; she just refused to confide in me. That was hard for me as her dad because all I wanted was to understand her better.

Things have changed over time. Today, she has friends, she does okay in her studies, and we’ve grown closer again. Some moments with her will stay with me forever—like when she held both my hand and her mum’s during an afternoon walk or when she wrote me a letter saying she understood why I wasn’t always around when she was little. She even asked me once to write her encouragement notes—a request that I never thought of. 

Now at 13 years old, she’s developing into her own person. She’s into her phone quite a bit but also enjoys jazz music (Laufey and Wave to Earth are some of her favorites). She loves making paper crafts, has cultivated her own unique fashion sense, and spends money wisely for someone her age. She’s incredibly health-conscious. Who at age 13 eats yogurt with chia seeds for breakfast and avoiding snacks like French fries! She dreams of becoming a psychologist one day. I also thought she has areas where she’s still growing—she can be complacent at times and often thinks she’s always right. Taking feedback isn’t easy for her yet, but I know she’ll get there in time. 

Daughter No. 2 

My second daughter was adorably chubby as a baby—so much. But there are some unfortunate event too - a one point we had to have all her teeth extracted out! She used to sing Kasih Ibu so sweetly that it would melt anyone’s heart. Some of her memorable birthday - Her love for Snorlax (her giant soft toy) brought so much joy, pulling money out of birthday cakes to loving Popmart Figurines—Joy and Pisces. 

Today as a 12-year-old, she still has that chubby charm. She has excellent English skills who can hold her ground in an argument! She listens closely to her mum but doesn’t have the highest tolerance level—she gets scared of ghosts sometimes and easily annoyed when disturbed. Touch is definitely not her love language—she values space more than anything else. She has specific tastes: she loves dark chocolate, waffles, and desserts that aren’t too sweet; sometimes we catch her smiling to herself while watching dessert-making videos online. She is the one that always taste my alcoholic drink; beer, tonic gin, baileys, soju, makgeolli.

She's incredibly disciplined; every morning without fail, she leaves for school at the exact same time. Her interests include Korean movies, science fiction novels, and drawing. She dreams of working in forensic science someday. 

Daughter No. 3

My youngest daughter has always been the cheeky one in the family! As a baby, she was adorably chubby—but one day that chubbiness just disappeared as she grew older. Being the youngest meant learning alot from her older sisters while also carving out her own identity. 

She loves trying new things—ballet and piano when she was younger; now it’s guitar lessons, rollerblading and the piano lessons that remain. But despite trying so many activities over the years, nothing seems to capture her heart completely yet. 

At 10 years old today, she’s our little spender who loves snacks like cheese-flavored treats or Daffa. But strange that she does not really like ice cream. She can be stubborn at times and sometimes ignorant—going silent whenever she’s upset or angry instead of expressing herself openly. Academically, she isn’t as disciplined as her sisters. And she was the only one who wanted friends over for her birthday party (10)! 

She’s also entrepreneurial in spirit—offering massages for a fee! While Roblox gaming keeps her hooked (sometimes too much), she also enjoys keeping streaks on Duolingo for fun language learning. And yes—she still sleeps with us at night. Oh, she is definitely not a morning person. She sometimes will crave for food before going to sleep.

Now, back what I said earlier, as a father, what I think I can do right now is not to give up on them but to continue guiding them throughout—even if they don’t always agree with me now or understand my intentions fully yet. 

My biggest fear is seeing them stray away from their values or losing sight of what truly matters in life. In today’s world where information is everywhere—some good but others are often misleading—I hope they learn to use it wisely.

More than anything else, I want them to stand up for themselves, able to make decisions and never forgetting the importance of family. I also need them to know that life is full of ups and downs and when something bad happens, you learn from it and stand up again. My hope is that no matter where life takes them or how far apart we may be someday—they will always carry with them the love and lessons we’ve shared as a family. Things will still change and let's embrace changes for the better.

Ocipala

When I had a chat with my friend Eday last Saturday morning, he said something interesting: I am quick in response when it comes to ocipala stuff. I was tickled by that term he used. Not only because that was a right description from someone who knows his friend well, but the term he used was also hilariously funny. 

Out of curiosity, I checked it out using AI. Neither Perplexity, Deepseek, ChatGPT, Gemini nor Meta AI could really pinpoint the answer when I asked the following question: in Chinese dialects, either Hakka or Teochew, there is a word that sounds like ocipala and it can roughly be translated as nonsense. what is the actual word in Mandarin?

One thing that they got it right was the fact that it wasn't a word, but an idiom. We used it so often in Pontianak that all this while, I thought it was only one word. Then I investigated further by adding a parameter: the idiom that sounded like ocipala was only used by Hakka and Teochew people from Pontianak.

That's when the AI unanimously agreed that it could be the corrupted version of 胡说八道 that is spoken in Teochew by the Chinese in Pontianak:

胡说 (hú shuō) → could shift to something like "ocip".

八道 (bā dào) → could transform into "ala" or "bala".

Our Teochew is indeed so diluted and heavily influenced by local cultures like Malay that the way we pronounce certain words could have been localized after so many generations!

But back to the ocipala comment, what's that all about? Well, let me emphasize again, I'm not a very bright guy to begin with. On top of that, if I didn't love it, I would almost have zero interest in it. As a result, I'm not exactly known as a think tank or one you would come for financial advices.

Jimmy and friends, posing in front of the flower board or what's left of it.

However, I like small things that matter. I love creating memories because that's the only thing we left behind. And I revel in things that are both creative and nonsensical. Whenever it's possible, I enjoy making them happen. Case in point, the Japan trip. Or maybe something that is more down to earth, such as the flower boards for Jimmy, haha.

So you see, I don't know much about making money apart from the work I do. But then again, while a lot of things need money, not everything in life is about money. That's the part of life I enjoy the most, one that I apparently am quite good at it, hence the sentence made by Eday: quick in ocipala stuff!

Ocipala

Ketika saya berbincang lewat WhatsApp Sabtu lalu dengan teman saya Eday, dia mengatakan sesuatu yang menarik: respon saya sangat sigap kalau berkaitan dengan sesuatu yang ocipala. Saya tergelitik dengan pernyataannya. Bukan saja karena ini adalah deskripsi yang tepat dari seseorang yang mengenal baik temannya, tapi juga karena istilah konyol yang ia pakai. 

Karena penasaran dengan asal-usul ocipala, saya lantas cari tahu lebih lanjut menggunakan AI. Namun Perplexity, Deepseek, ChatGPT, Gemini dan Meta AI pun tak tahu pasti ketika saya melontarkan pertanyaan ini: dalam dialek Tionghoa, entah itu Khek or Tiociu, ada kata yang bunyinya terdengar seperti ocipala dan bisa diterjemahkan sebagai konyol atau omong kosong. Apa kata aslinya dalam Mandarin?

Satu hal yang AI bisa jawab adalah, sepertinya ini bukan satu kata, tapi idiom. Begitu seringnya istilah ini dipakai di Pontianak dari sejak saya masih kecil, sampai-sampai saya memiliki kesan bahwa ocipala itu adalah satu kata. Berdasarkan ide dari AI, saya tambahkan kriteria berikut ini: jadi idiom apa yang dipakai oleh orang Khek dan Tiociu Pontianak dan terdengar seperti ocipala? 

Semua AI sepakat bahwa ocipala ini adalah versi korup dari 胡说八道 yang dilafalkan dalam Tiociu oleh orang Tionghoa Pontianak:

胡说 (hú shuō) → berubah menjadi sesuatu yang terdengar seperti "ocip".

八道 (bā dào) → diucapkan seperti "ala" atau "bala".

Kalau dipikirkan lagi, Bahasa Tiociu kita ini memang sudah berevolusi menjauhi versi aslinya dan juga dipengaruhi oleh budaya lokal seperti Bahasa Melayu, sehingga pengucapannya pun berubah setelah melewati banyak generasi. 

Kembali ke komentar ocipala, apa sebenarnya yang signifikan? Hmm, saya ini bukan orang pintar. Selain itu, jikalau saya tidak menyukai sesuatu, saya biasanya tidak berminat untuk tahu. Alhasil, saya bukanlah tipe pemikir atau orang yang anda cari untuk nasehat finansial. 

Jimmy dan teman-teman berpose di papan bekas papan bunga.

Akan tetapi saya suka hal-hal kecil yang penting. Saya suka kenangan dan kebersamaan karena itulah satu-satunya hal yang kita tinggalkan. Dan saya menikmati hal-hal yang kreatif dan konyol. Bilamana memungkinkan, saya suka mewujudkannya. Contohnya trip ke Jepang. Atau mungkin sesuatu yang lebih sederhana, misalnya papan bunga untuk Jimmy yang ngambek, haha. 

Jadi saya tidak tahu banyak tentang cara menghasilkan uang, kecuali dari pekerjaan yang saya kerjakan di kantor. Namun meski banyak hal yang membutuhkan uang, tidak semua hal dalam hidup ini adalah tentang uang. Ini adalah bagian hidup yang saya sukai dan saya ternyata cukup berprestasi dalam bidang ini, seperti yang terlihat dari kalimat dari Eday: gesit dalam aneka hal ocipala!