A Father's Thought

Becoming a father is one of those life experiences you can never fully prepare for. No matter how much I tried to get ready, I had no real idea of what I was stepping into. The moment my daughters were born, I felt a mixture of awe and fear. Holding them for the first time felt like witnessing a miracle—here was life itself, entrusted to me. But along with that miracle came an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I knew from the start that I wouldn’t be able to be with them 24/7, and that thought haunted me. Questions swirled in my mind: will I be a good dad? Can I work as a team with their mum to raise them well? What will my daughters be like as they grow through the phases of their lives? The road ahead seemed long and uncertain, but one thing was clear—I was committed to never giving up on them. 

Having three daughters has been both a blessing and a challenge, but it’s also been the most rewarding experience of my life. All babies are born innocent, trusting the people closest to them completely. My daughters were no different—they were curious, pure, and full of joy. They listened (most of the time) to what we told them, even when it was something silly. Their smiles and laughter were genuine, lighting up every corner of our home. Of course, parenting wasn’t always smooth sailing. There were tantrums, stubborn moments, and times when their manners tested my patience. But even in those moments, they reminded me of the beauty of being their father—the good and bad, happy and sad, all woven together into this incredible journey. 

Daughter No. 1

From the very beginning, I saw her as cheerful, quick to learn, yet shy. As she started school, her personality became more defined—she was quiet, less confident than I had hoped, and preferred writing her feelings down instead of speaking about them. There was even a phase where we had this inexplicable distance between us; she just refused to confide in me. That was hard for me as her dad because all I wanted was to understand her better.

Things have changed over time. Today, she has friends, she does okay in her studies, and we’ve grown closer again. Some moments with her will stay with me forever—like when she held both my hand and her mum’s during an afternoon walk or when she wrote me a letter saying she understood why I wasn’t always around when she was little. She even asked me once to write her encouragement notes—a request that I never thought of. 

Now at 13 years old, she’s developing into her own person. She’s into her phone quite a bit but also enjoys jazz music (Laufey and Wave to Earth are some of her favorites). She loves making paper crafts, has cultivated her own unique fashion sense, and spends money wisely for someone her age. She’s incredibly health-conscious. Who at age 13 eats yogurt with chia seeds for breakfast and avoiding snacks like French fries! She dreams of becoming a psychologist one day. I also thought she has areas where she’s still growing—she can be complacent at times and often thinks she’s always right. Taking feedback isn’t easy for her yet, but I know she’ll get there in time. 

Daughter No. 2 

My second daughter was adorably chubby as a baby—so much. But there are some unfortunate event too - a one point we had to have all her teeth extracted out! She used to sing Kasih Ibu so sweetly that it would melt anyone’s heart. Some of her memorable birthday - Her love for Snorlax (her giant soft toy) brought so much joy, pulling money out of birthday cakes to loving Popmart Figurines—Joy and Pisces. 

Today as a 12-year-old, she still has that chubby charm. She has excellent English skills who can hold her ground in an argument! She listens closely to her mum but doesn’t have the highest tolerance level—she gets scared of ghosts sometimes and easily annoyed when disturbed. Touch is definitely not her love language—she values space more than anything else. She has specific tastes: she loves dark chocolate, waffles, and desserts that aren’t too sweet; sometimes we catch her smiling to herself while watching dessert-making videos online. She is the one that always taste my alcoholic drink; beer, tonic gin, baileys, soju, makgeolli.

She's incredibly disciplined; every morning without fail, she leaves for school at the exact same time. Her interests include Korean movies, science fiction novels, and drawing. She dreams of working in forensic science someday. 

Daughter No. 3

My youngest daughter has always been the cheeky one in the family! As a baby, she was adorably chubby—but one day that chubbiness just disappeared as she grew older. Being the youngest meant learning alot from her older sisters while also carving out her own identity. 

She loves trying new things—ballet and piano when she was younger; now it’s guitar lessons, rollerblading and the piano lessons that remain. But despite trying so many activities over the years, nothing seems to capture her heart completely yet. 

At 10 years old today, she’s our little spender who loves snacks like cheese-flavored treats or Daffa. But strange that she does not really like ice cream. She can be stubborn at times and sometimes ignorant—going silent whenever she’s upset or angry instead of expressing herself openly. Academically, she isn’t as disciplined as her sisters. And she was the only one who wanted friends over for her birthday party (10)! 

She’s also entrepreneurial in spirit—offering massages for a fee! While Roblox gaming keeps her hooked (sometimes too much), she also enjoys keeping streaks on Duolingo for fun language learning. And yes—she still sleeps with us at night. Oh, she is definitely not a morning person. She sometimes will crave for food before going to sleep.

Now, back what I said earlier, as a father, what I think I can do right now is not to give up on them but to continue guiding them throughout—even if they don’t always agree with me now or understand my intentions fully yet. 

My biggest fear is seeing them stray away from their values or losing sight of what truly matters in life. In today’s world where information is everywhere—some good but others are often misleading—I hope they learn to use it wisely.

More than anything else, I want them to stand up for themselves, able to make decisions and never forgetting the importance of family. I also need them to know that life is full of ups and downs and when something bad happens, you learn from it and stand up again. My hope is that no matter where life takes them or how far apart we may be someday—they will always carry with them the love and lessons we’ve shared as a family. Things will still change and let's embrace changes for the better.