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Monday, April 30, 2018

The Wish List

This story began with me wondering, where exactly I could go using Indonesian passport without the need of applying visa. If such need was unavoidable, then it'd be great if it was visa on arrival. The result was ranging from those obscure countries such as Gambia and Belarus to interesting destinations such as Peru, Uzbekistan and Qatar. Then of course there was Armenia in the list.

Armenia means a lot to me, because it was the latest one that went into my wish list. I have this habit of browsing Wikitravel just to read about places and dream that I'll be there one day. I had even planned for the trips, too, but for some reason, the visits weren't materialised.

It was all started with Darwin in Australia. There was a Jetstar promo back in 2009 and the return tickets were unbelievably cheap. Upon seeing that, I read about Darwin and was very much fascinated by the salt water crocodiles in the wild. I imagined sitting on a beach and saw one crawling out nonchalantly from the sea. That'd be one hell of an experience! I immediately formed a travel group and booked the flights. But the trip wasn't meant to happen, unfortunately. As we were approaching the departure date, one by one bailed out. The tickets were burnt and the price was never that cheap again since then. I've been asking my wife if she's keen to go Darwin, but it may take visits to Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth before Darwin got its turn.

The next one that came to mind was Bhutan. I was intrigued by the fact that the country is based on Gross Happiness Index. People must be smiling a lot there! So I read about places in Bhutan such as Paro and Thimphu. I found out about Tiger Nest Dzong, a monastery that sits on the cliff. Then there was takin, a strange looking animal (that I eventually saw in Guangzhou zoo). Bhutan was a place of wonders! Apart from reading a lot, I even visited Druk Asia, the official Bhutan travel agency in Albert Street. I learnt that not only it'd be quite an expensive trip, but the nearest airport for me was the one in Bangkok (we could only fly with Druk Air to Bhutan and the Bhutan-Singapore flight route only started in September 2012). That's when the plan to Bhutan was canned. Up until now, my friend Steva would often ask jokingly, "so when are we going to Bhutan again?"

After Bhutan was Mongolia. After the cancelled Paul McCartney concert in Japan, I planned a trip to Mongolia. Suddenly the idea of the bright blue sky meeting the land of green was very appealing. Further it's the country of Genghis Khan, the great warrior. What's not to like? I remember planning to go from Beijing. Once we reached the capital city of China, we'd do a road trip to Erenhot in Inner Mongolia, then stay one night there (the small town happened to be a place where dinosaurs lived million years ago) before crossing to Zamyn-Üüd in Mongolia. Then on our way back, we could take Trans-Siberian train from Ulaanbaatar to Beijing. It sounded exciting, until I heard of Paul McCartney's concerts being rescheduled. The plan was immediately scrapped to make way for another Japan trip.

Kazakhstan came after my trip to Myanmar. I bought a book about Myanmar and its neighbours. The book talked a lot about beautiful places in Yunnan province, from Kunming to Shangri-la. It was very inspiring that I toyed with the idea of travelling from Yunnan to Xinjiang, another province in China that I'd like to visit, too, simply because the people there that don't look very Chinese (or Han, to be precise). It was either that route or flying from Guangzhou to Ürümqi. Then, from Xinjiang, I could do a road trip to Almaty in Kazakhstan. Central Asia is like a road less travelled, that's why I'm very curious about Kazakhstan. But the visa was very hard to get! I'd need an invitation letter and even obtaining it didn't mean that the visa would be automatically approved. I just gave up there and then. May be next time, when the visa requirement gets easier.

Indonesian passport got a better luck with Armenia, apparently. I almost couldn't believe it when I realized that I only needed visa on arrival. I was excited by the thought of visiting a country at the intersection of Europe and Asia, so beautiful and rich in history. Then further reading showed that I could also have a short getaway to Georgia, the neighbouring country, perhaps for a bite of khinkali, the Georgian dumpling. Armenia seemed like my next destination! I remember trying my best to figure out how to transfer my luggage from Emirates to flydubai without crossing the checkpoint. But while I was on fire, the enthusiasm wasn't shared by many. I eventually relented and came up with more mainstream destinations instead.

Out of all places that i'd really love to visit, I'd only been to Vientiane, Hiroshima and Liverpool. But that's life, really. Even though the trip has been planned, sometimes it just doesn't happen. But it's alright. I'll revisit the list again someday. May be when I'm 40. I hope the big 40 is a valid reason, because visa application starts at home, haha...

No, it's not Bhutan, but at Ion Orchard!

Daftar Keinginan

Kisah ini dimulai dari satu pertanyaan di benak saya, bisa ke mana sebenarnya pemegang paspor Indonesia tanpa visa. Kalau memang butuh visa, lantas negara-negara apa saja bisa dikunjungi dengan visa setelah ketibaan (visa on arrival). Dari Wikipedia, jawabannya berkisar antara negara-negara yang jarang menjadi tujuan wisata seperti Gambia dan Belarus sampai negara-negara yang terdengar menarik seperti Peru, Uzbekistan dan Qatar. Kemudian tentu saja ada Armenia di daftar tersebut.

Armenia mempunyai arti tersendiri bagi saya, sebab negara tersebut baru saja masuk daftar keinginan saya. Saya memiliki kebiasaan membaca Wikitravel dan terkadang saya bayangkan bahwa saya akan pergi ke tempat yang saya baca ini. Saya bahkan telah membuat rencana untuk bepergian ke sana, namun terkadang tidak terlaksana.

Daftar ini dimulai dengan Darwin di Australia. Di tahun 2009, Jetstar mengadakan promosi dan tiket pulang-perginya luar biasa murah. Saya lantas membaca tentang Darwin dan saya rasa pengalaman melihat buaya air asin merangkak keluar dari laut dengan acuh tak acuh pasti akan tidak terlupakan. Saya lekas mengajak mereka yang berminat dan membeli tiket. Akan tetapi perjalanan itu tidak ditakdirkan terjadi. Mendekati hari-H, satu persatu teman batal dan merelakan tiketnya hangus. Sejak itu harga penerbangan ke Darwin tidak pernah lagi semurah itu. Saya kadang bertanya kepada istri saya, apakah dia mau ke Darwin, namun tampaknya dia baru berminat ke sana setelah Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane dan Perth dikunjungi.

Negara berikutnya yang menjadi fokus saya adalah Bhutan. Saya tergelitik oleh fakta bahwa negara ini berdasarkan filosofi Indeks Kegembiraan. Kalau begitu, penduduk di sana pasti senantiasa tersenyum. Oleh karena itu, saya baca tentang tempat-tempat seperti Paro dan Thimphu. Dari situ saya tahu tentang Dzong Sarang Harimau, kuil terkenal yang berada di tebing curam, dan juga tentang takin, hewan berbadan sapi tapi bermuka kambing (yang akhirnya saya lihat di kebun binatang Guangzhou). Bhutan benar-benar tempat yang menakjubkan. Selain banyak membaca, saya juga pergi ke Druk Asia, biro perjalanan resmi dari Bhutan yang berkantor di Albert Street. Dari situ saya tahu bahwa perjalanan ke Bhutan ini bukan saja cukup mahal, tapi juga repot karena bandara terdekat buat saya adalah di Bangkok (kita hanya bisa ke Bhutan dengan maskapai Druk Air dan rute penerbangan Bhutan-Singapura baru dimulai bulan September 2012). Karena alasan-alasan tersebut, akhirnya perjalanan ke Bhutan dibatalkan. Sampai saat ini, teman saya Steva masih sering iseng bertanya, "jadi kapan kita ke Bhutan?"

Setelah Bhutan, negara selanjutnya adalah Mongolia. Rencana ke Mongolia ini mulai setahun setelah batalnya konser Paul McCartney di Jepang. Saat itu saya merasa bahwa berkunjung ke tempat dimana bumi dan langit bertemu adalah ide yang menarik. Lagi pula itu adalah negara asal Genghis Khan, tokoh sejarah yang tersohor. Saya lantas merencanakan sebuah petualangan yang bermula dari Beijing. Dari ibukota Cina ini, kita bisa menempuh perjalanan darat ke Erenhot di Mongolia Dalam dan menginap semalam di sana (berjuta-juta tahun silam, kota kecil ini merupakan tempat dinosaurus berlalu-lalang), kemudian barulah menyeberang ke Zamyn-Üüd di Mongolia. Pada saat pulang, kita bisa menaiki kereta Trans-Siberian dari Ulaanbaatar ke Beijing. Rencana ini terasa mantap sampai saya mendengar bahwa Paul McCartney kembali menggelar konser di Tokyo. Akhirnya Mongolia pun dicoret dan saya kembali ke Jepang.

Kazakhstan mulai muncul di benak saya setelah perjalanan ke Myanmar. Saat di bandara Yangon, saya membeli buku tentang Myanmar dan negara-negara tetangganya. Buku tersebut bercerita banyak tentang provinsi Yunnan, mulai dari kota Kunming sampai Shangri-la. Deskripsinya sangat memberikan inspirasi, sampai-sampai saya terdorong untuk berkelana dari Yunnan to Xinjiang, sebuah provinsi di Cina yang juga ingin saya kunjungi karena penduduknya tidak mirip orang Cina (atau orang Han, tepatnya). Jadi rute pilihan saya adalah, kalau tidak lewat Yunnan, maka alternatifnya adalah terbang dari Guangzhou ke Ürümqi. Sesudah itu, dari Xinjiang saya bisa menempuh perjalanan darat ke Almaty di Kazakhstan. Asia Tengah adalah kawasan yang jarang yang dikunjungi, oleh sebab itu saya sangat ingin tahu tentang Kazakhstan. Akan tetapi visa ke negara ini sangat susah didapatkan. Saya membutuhkan surat undangan dan seumpamanya bisa saya dapatkan, itu tidak berarti permohonan visa saya pasti dikabulkan. Saya langsung mengurungkan niat saya. Mungkin lain kali saja, kalau persyaratan visanya sudah menjadi lebih ringan.

Paspor Indonesia lebih mendapat kemudahan di Armenia. Saya nyaris tidak percaya ketika membaca bahwa saya bisa mengajukan visa setelah tiba di sana (visa on arrival). Bagi yang belum tahu, Armenia adalah sebuah negara yang terletak di persimpangan Asia dan Eropa, begitu eksotis dan kaya akan budaya yang sudah ribuan tahun lamanya. Lebih dari itu, setelah saya baca-baca lagi, ternyata saya juga bisa mengadakan perjalanan singkat dari Armenia ke Georgia (dan mencicipi khinkali, pangsit Georgia). Saya sempat bersibuk-ria mengirim email untuk mencari tahu bagaimana caranya memindahkan bagasi dari Emirates ke flydubai pada saat transit tanpa perlu keluar untuk cap paspor (karena ini juga membutuhkan visa Uni Emirat Arab). Meskipun saya bersemangat, namun tidak semua orang seantusias saya. Akhirnya saya mengubah tujuan liburan menjadi tempat yang lebih populer untuk berlibur. 

Dari berbagai tempat yang ingin saya kunjungi, saya hanya berkesempatan untuk pergi ke Vientiane, Hiroshima dan Liverpool. Namun beginilah hidup. Terkadang, walaupun sudah direncanakan, belum tentu terjadi. Tapi tidak apa-apa. Suatu hari nanti saya akan melihat kembali daftar saya ini dan ke sana, mungkin pada usia 40. Ya, saya harap alasan bepergian di usia 40 ini bisa diterima, sebab aplikasi visa bermula dari rumah, haha...

Perjalanan ke Darwin yang tidak kesampaian. 

Friday, April 27, 2018

Friendship in Kindergarten

For the third time, my five-year-old daughter came to me with a sad face and said:
Linda: My friend Helen (not the real name) is going to give me Math Card today. I don't want to do it. She said this time is about Minus (Subtraction). She told me I have to do it by myself, I can't ask help from my parent.
Mummy: No worry. We just see it first. I'll teach you to do it and then you do it by yourself.
Linda: She said that I can not use my fingers to count.
Mummy: It's okay to use your fingers to count.
Linda: But Helen said I can't. She can count without using her fingers.
Mummy: Perhaps she joins Kumon, therefore she can do that. She practices counting every day so now she can count without using fingers. But you are still learning so it's okay for you to use your fingers now.
Linda: But how if she asked me how I count? Can I tell her a lie?
Mummy: No, you shouldn't tell a lie. Just tell her you count using your fingers.
Linda: But I'm afraid she will be angry and scold me. (She started to cry).
Mummy: I don't think she will be angry.
Linda: Yes, she will.
Mummy: Then you find other friend. She shouldn't scold you and you shouldn't be afraid with your friend.
Linda: But I want to be her friend (she was crying again).

It is interesting to see how my daughter evolves day by day. From the tiny little baby who was fully dependent with her parents to a toddler who explored the world with her curiosity and now a pre-schooler in kindergarten who begin to be independent. She has started to have a circle of friends and she tried to adapt with many kids with different personalities. She told me that she and her three friends made a noisy girl gang and apparently Helen was the leader of the gang. Like other kids, she liked and adored Helen. She was very happy when Hellen gave her a card with her handwriting "I love Linda. You are my good friend." But she was very sad and worry when Hellen gave her Math card with many questions to do.

Sweet letter from Helen.

Math card from Helen.

Her problem above might be a small problem for us as adults. But for a five-year-old, it was a big problem. She was worried to go to school because she was afraid that her best friend would give her difficult tasks to do and she couldn't do it. She dared not say no because she didn't want her friend to be angry with her and stop being her friend again. She felt sad when her friend said she couldn't do Math as good as her or spoke Chinese properly. I guess peer pressure started to happen in Primary School but apparently it came sooner.

As a parent, as much as we want to help her directly, we need to teach her to solve the problem by herself. She will be the one who faces her friend everyday at school, not us.  Hence we try to help her by encouraging her three main things:

1. To have confidence
We convince her that she is a smart girl and she can do Math and Chinese as good as her friend (or even better) if she keeps practicing. Her friend joined Kumon and practices counting everyday. She also come from the family who speak Chinese at home. Of course, she will be better in Math and Chinese now. But if Linda learn Math and Chinese harder, one day she'll be as good as her friend, too. It may take a longer time for her without the help of tuition course, but surely she can count and speak Chinese well.

The fact that there are many parents who put their kids in tuition centres increases the expectation from the kids. Sometimes tuition centres teach subjects earlier than school. Kids who do not join tuition might seem "left behind" but actually they are just on the right track in school.

2. To have courage
Some kids have strong personality. They are dominant and a bit intimidating, especially to the sensitive ones like my kid. It may be difficult for Linda to reject her friend's request but she needs to have the courage to say no. When she continues her next chapter in primary school, she will meet more friends with all sorts of characters. She needs to be flexible but also stand her ground.

3. To be honest
Honesty is one of our family value. Whatever mistakes or problems one has, the person has be honest and dare to admit it. It also works the other way round. If we as parents make a mistake, we also admit it to them and say sorry. We hope it could give them a good foundation in life. As they grow older and face many problems, they will always remember to be honest with themselves and with other people.

Parenting is a long journey. We are still learning and trying to do our best. To keep the balance between showing them love and discipline. To teach them good values and implement them in our life because action speaks louder than our words. It is not easy but we believe it is worth the while. At the end of the day, we realise we can't control our children's future but we play a crucial part in shaping it...

That smile that brightens our world!

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Life Before College

After Life Before Marriage, Before Singapore and Before Jakarta, I'm wondering if this is the farthest I can go for this series. Yeah, that's because after this, I may need to go back to Pontianak to look for any pictures from the earlier times of my life that can go along with the story, haha. Those days before handphone with camera, we could only rely on photographs! But those were simpler time, though.

Or may be not. Life was actually quite difficult then, with Dad's financial situation changing overnight, forcing my family to leave Pontianak for a new beginning. It was a miracle that I came through such a life turbulence almost unscathed. Despite the hardship, I managed to retain the happy-go-lucky demeanour. I remember telling my Dad that whatever happened in the past, it was alright and I didn't blame anybody for it. The way I look at it, it was just meant to be that way.

My earliest recollection about this period was me telling my Mum that I'd stay in Pontianak. I could have just left my hometown with them, especially when I just began studying in high school, but for a reason that I can't remember now, I chose to stay back. My Auntie took me in and I saw John, Paul, George and Ringo on TV soon after that. As the first major influence in my life, the Beatles provided me a much needed optimism: "it's easy," they sang, "all you need is love." And I believe that. The Beatles shaped not only the way I thought, but also inspired me to take up English course willingly, a life changing decision that was proven to be useful in the future. I remember introducing the band to Leo, my high school and gaming friend back then.

Talk about gaming, I was so into it back then. Apart from playing Super Nintendo with Leo (the man had the Legend of Zelda, a big deal for me), I also frequented the gaming arcade, Orbit Wonderland, with Agus Yanto. We were very good in playing Final Fight, often reaching the last boss with only one coin (although Agus would always play as Cody, leaving me to handle Guy or Haggar). After a coin or two, we would cross the street to Tanjung Mulia to enjoy something that is locally known as Shanghai ice. It was also through Agus that I got to know Michael Learns to Rock, a very popular band in Pontianak at that time. His favorite song was 25 Minutes.

That 17th birthday.
From left: Eday, Mul, Anthony and Hartono.
 

The second year in high school was memorable because things went really well during that period. I had good friends that were always there for me. Eday and I did all sorts of pranks back then. I would visited Mul and he'd invite me to have dinner cooked by his Mum. Together with Angelia, Lisna, Taty, Yoviana and Hartono, we had various activities from cooking on Sunday to late night barbecue. I celebrated my 17th birthday with them, too. Academically, within our group of close-knit friends, I was second only to Taty.

Apart from the classmates above, I also hung out with Suhendi and Hardy. Suhendi was a weird one, an unlikely friend of mine, but yet we were quite close then (and even in the Jakarta days). We were even punished together simply because he smoked on my balcony that faced our school directly! Hardy was my band mate, definitely the best guitarist of our generation. Every time I listen to November Rain, I'll remember him performing the song.

Suhendi at ITC Cempaka Mas, Jakarta. Few years later in 2004.

Then there was another group that I befriended, those that weren't my classmates but yet we were as close as we could be: Endrico and friends, including Parno. This bunch was normally my weekend buddies, the mild-mannered and studious ones. We'd spend time at Endrico house, playing games (mostly Mortal Combat) or watching the latest Stephen Chow's movie. I also remember watching the pirated version of Stallone's Daylight at Heriyanto's house. The film was so dark that the only time we actually managed to see anything was when the movie ended.

That second year ended with Eday, Lisna, Hartono, Parno and I taking a four-day, three-night voyage to Jakarta. It was hilarious and could be a standalone story by itself. I remember Tuty was there, too. Good times, really. You see, while it's true that I wasn't living with my parents, I was never neglected in life because I was well-loved by my friends. This is why I believe in friendship.

Tuty and Yoviana, 1997.

As we reached our last year in high school, we had to choose a discipline between natural science and social science. There was this misconception that natural science was for smarter students, so I opted for the class only to fail spectacularly on the natural science subjects. Frankly speaking, I didn't understand how I could have graduated with such marks, but I certainly didn't complain!

The academic decline was partly due to my own doing, though. When I realised that I could write, I gradually lost interest in studying. It also didn't help that I was apparently not as smart as I originally thought. Physics was the worst lesson ever. Even with a calculator and a cheat sheet full of scientific formulas, I still didn't know how to do the exam. I had at least one attempt of stealing Hengky Hermanto's exam paper, but I didn't get a chance to copy it down as the teacher suddenly stood in front of me until the bell rang.

Lickersfull Football Club.

Other than that, it wasn't that bad. We had a football team called Lickersfull (a word play of Liverpool) and we won the tournament with a single goal scored by Mul (I think the cup is with Yak Kheng). By the way, when I said we won, I mean I was a fan standing outside the soccer field to watch the match. I was never a sporty type and the only time they'd allow me to join a team was when there wasn't enough people playing volleyball.

I was also very poor then. In order to earn some pocket money, I'd be taking orders and sprinted to canteen the moment recess time began. In a way, I invented Grab Food! But the lucrative business ended when the sport teacher spotted me carrying a lot of food to the class, something that was forbidden. I managed to distribute the orders before I was dragged into his office. There was a commotion right after that as my satisfied customers, from Eday to Jimmy, gathered to ensure the safety of their errand boy. My homeroom teacher, God rest his soul, eventually stepped in to guarantee that I wouldn't repeat what I did.

The last year was bittersweet, really. I remember Titanic, watching it twice in cinema. I had a trip to the haunted island with Jimmy, Ie Siang and many more. Eday and I even went uninvited to wedding parties (we gave only ang bao of IDR 500). But all good things must come to an end. As we finished the exams, I performed one last time with Eday, Endrico, Susanto and Hendri Muliadi during the graduation ceremony. Then we all sang about the moments in high school, how they were beautiful, funny and full of memories. It was true. 20 years down the road, I still remember them well, as if it was only yesterday...

That morning before we performed.
From left: Eday, Hendri Muliadi, Susanto, Endrico and Anthony.


Kehidupan Sebelum Kuliah

Setelah Kehidupan Sebelum Pernikahan, Sebelum Singapura dan Sebelum Jakarta, saya jadi berpikir apakah ini akan menjadi cerita terakhir untuk serial ini. Ya, karena setelah ini, saya mungkin harus ke Pontianak untuk mencari foto-foto dari masa sebelum SMA, haha. Di hari-hari sebelum jaman telepon genggam berkamera, kita bergantung pada foto cuci-cetak. Tapi hidup lebih sederhana di kala itu. 

Atau mungkin tidak sesederhana itu. Kehidupan saya saat itu sebenarnya cukup sulit karena kita mengalami masalah keuangan yang akhirnya mendorong keluarga saya untuk memulai lagi dari awal di tempat lain. Saya rasa saya cukup diberkati karena tidak terlalu terpengaruh oleh kejadian ini. Meskipun susah, saya tetap ceria, sifat yang tetap saya miliki hingga sekarang. Saya ingat bahwa suatu ketika, saya berdiskusi dengan ayah saya tentang masa lalu dan saya meyakinkannya bahwa saya tidak menyalahkan siapa pun atas apa yang telah terjadi. Saya rasa apa yang saya lalui ini telah ditentukan dan terjadilah kehendak-Nya.

Hal pertama yang saya ingat dari masa ini adalah saat saya memberitahukan ibu saya bahwa saya akan tetap di Pontianak saja. Saat itu SMA baru dimulai dan saya sebenarnya bisa pergi bersama mereka, tapi entah mengapa saya memilih untuk ditinggal. Tante saya kemudian menampung saya dan tidak lama setelah itu, saya melihat John, Paul, George dan Ringo di RCTI untuk pertama kalinya. Sebagai pengaruh penting dalam hidup saya, the Beatles mengajarkan saya rasa optimis yang saya butuhkan di waktu itu. Saat mendengar mereka bernyanyi, "it's easy, all you need is love," saya langsung percaya. The Beatles bukan saja membuka wawasan saya dalam berpikir, tetapi juga menginspirasi saya untuk belajar bahasa Inggris dengan sungguh-sungguh (dan niat saya ini menjadi keputusan yang terbukti berguna di kemudian hari). Saya juga ingat bahwa saya sempat memperkenalkan grup musik ini pada Leo, teman SMA sekaligus teman main game.

Agus Yanto dan foto close-up era 1998.

Bicara soal game, waktu itu saya benar-benar tertarik. Selain bermain Super Nintendo di rumah Leo (dia mungkin satu-satunya orang di Pontianak yang memiliki kaset the Legend of Zelda), saya juga sering mengunjungi Orbit Wonderland bersama Agus Yanto. Kita adalah pasangan yang cocok dalam bermain Final Fight, sering kali bertarung sampai raja terakhir hanya dengan satu koin seratus rupiah (Agus selalu menggunakan Cody, sehingga saya harus memilih antara Guy atau Haggar). Setelah bermain kira-kira seratus atau dua ratus rupiah, biasanya kita akan menyeberang ke Tanjung Mulia untuk menikmati es Shanghai. Agus juga orang yang memperkenalkan saya pada Michael Learns to Rock, grup populer di angkatan kita. Lagu favoritnya 25 Minutes.

Kelas kedua SMA adalah masa yang paling penuh kenangan karena banyak hal menyenangkan yang terjadi. Saya punya teman-teman dekat yang selalu hadir untuk saya. Eday dan saya sering kali terlibat hal-hal jenaka saat pelajaran berlangsung. Terkadang saya mengunjungi Mul dan dia pun mengajak saya untuk turut menikmati makan malam yang disajikan oleh ibunya. Bersama Angelia, Lisna, Taty, Yoviana dan Hartono, kita memiliki banyak aktivitas, mulai dari acara memasak sampai panggang ayam. Saya merayakan ulang tahun saya yang ke-17 bersama mereka juga. Bicara tentang pendidikan, di grup kecil kita ini, saya hanya satu peringkat di bawah Taty. Dia memang senantiasa lebih pintar, hehe.

Hardy di Mal Taman Anggrek, setelah lulus sekolah. 

Selain para sahabat di atas, saya juga berteman dekat dengan Suhendi dan Hardy. Suhendi adalah seorang yang eksentrik dan aneh rasanya kita bisa menjadi teman, sebab karakter kita jauh berbeda. Akan tetapi nyatanya kita akrab, bahkan tetap bersama setelah kita lulus dan mengadu nasib di Jakarta. Kita berdua bahkan dihukum bersama hanya karena dia merokok di balkon saya yang tepat berhadapan dengan perpustakaan sekolah. Hardy juga teman dekat Suhendi, tapi bagi saya, dia adalah teman satu grup musik dan gitaris terbaik di generasi saya. Setiap kali saya mendengar lagu November Rain, saya pasti terkenang dengan penampilannya saat membawakan lagu ini.

Kemudian ada lagi mereka yang tidak sekelas, namun menjadi sahabat karib saya. Kelompok ini adalah Endrico dan kawan-kawan, termasuk juga Parno. Mereka ini tipe yang tidak nakal dan rajin belajar. Saya kadang kumpul bersama mereka di akhir pekan. Di rumah Endrico, kita bermain game (biasanya adalah Mortal Combat) dan menonton film terbaru Stephen Chow. Saya juga ingat bahwa Endrico dan saya pernah kumpul di rumah Heriyanto untuk menonton versi bajakan dari film Daylight yang dibintangi oleh Stallone. Film itu luar biasa gelap dan sesekalinya kita berhasil melihat sesuatu adalah pada saat film berakhir, ketika mereka mencapai cahaya di ujung terowongan.

Tahun kedua ini ditutup dengan perjalanan laut selama empat hari tiga malam ke Jakarta. Petualangan yang saya jalani bersama Eday, Lisna, Hartono dan Parno ini lucu dan bisa menjadi cerita tersendiri, hehe. Kalau saya tidak keliru, kita juga sempat bertemu dengan Tuty yang kebetulan menumpangi kapal yang sama. Sungguh masa yang indah. Walau saya tidak tinggal bersama orang tua, saya tidak pernah merasa diabaikan karena saya dikelilingi oleh orang-orang yang baik dan menyayangi saya. Ini alasannya kenapa saya percaya dengan persahabatan.

Di tahun terakhir SMA, kita harus memilih antara jurusan IPA dan IPS. Saat itu ada pola pikir bahwa IPA lebih bergengsi dan pintar muridnya, jadi saya pun masuk jurusan IPA dan gagal dengan spektakuler di penghujung tahun ajaran. Dengan nilai 3, 4 dan 5 untuk Fisika, Kimia dan Biologi, saya juga bingung bagaimana ceritanya saya bisa lulus, tapi saya tidak akan protes karena telah diluluskan, haha!

Kalau saya lihat kembali, buruknya nilai di kelas tiga ini juga karena salah saya sendiri. Setelah saya menyadari bahwa saya berbakat menulis, perlahan-lahan saya mulai kehilangan minat belajar sesuatu yang gagal saya pahami. Di samping itu, saya juga tidak sepandai yang saya kira. Fisika adalah pelajaran yang paling parah bagi saya. Bahkan dengan kertas contekan rumus dan kalkulator pun saya masih tidak bisa mengerjakan ujian. Saya pernah merampas kertas ujian Hengky Hermanto, tetapi Pak Budi langsung berdiri di depan saya sampai lonceng berbunyi sehingga saya tidak sempat menyalin jawabannya.

Di luar itu, sebenarnya kelas tiga tidak terlalu buruk. Kelas kita memiliki tim sepakbola yang bernama Lickersfull (yang berasal dari plesetan kata Liverpool) dan kita menjuarai turnamen berkat gol tunggal yang dicetak oleh Mul (saya rasa pialanya disimpan oleh Yak Kheng). Oh ya, saat saya berkata bahwa kita menjadi juara, maksud saya adalah saya berdiri di pinggir lapangan sebagai penonton. Saya bukan tipe olahragawan dan teman-teman baru akan mengajak saya untuk turut serta apabila tidak cukup orang untuk bermain bola voli di jam pelajaran olahraga. 

Saya juga tidak memiliki uang di kala itu. Untuk mendapatkan uang saku, saya akan mencatat pesanan teman-teman dan berlari secepatnya untuk membelikan mereka makanan ke kantin begitu lonceng tanda istirahat berbunyi. Dengan demikian saya bisa mendapatkan komisi dan membeli roti. Boleh dikatakan bahwa saya adalah pelopor Grab Food! Akan tetapi bisnis ini berakhir ketika saya tertangkap oleh Pak Udin, guru olahraga yang kebetulan melihat saya membawa belanjaan berisi makanan ke dalam kelas. Ini adalah sebuah pelanggaran. Saya bergegas membagikan makanan kepada pelanggan saya sebelum diciduk. Setelah itu saya diseret ke kantor guru. Pelanggan seperti Eday dan Jimmy pun menghampiri kantor guru untuk mencari tahu apa yang terjadi pada saya. Akhirnya Pak Agus, wali kelas saya, datang membela dan menjamin bahwa saya tidak akan mengulangi perbuatan saya lagi.

Ada berbagai kenangan manis dan pahit di kelas tiga. Saya ingat Titanic karena saya menontonnya dua kali di bioskop Nusa Indah. Saya ingat petualangan ke Pulau Temajo bersama Jimmy, Ie Siang dan beberapa teman lain. Saya juga ingat bahwa saya dan Eday sering menjadi tamu tak diundang di pesta pernikahan (kita memberikan angpau 500 rupiah dan menggoreskan nama Witono di buku tamu, lengkap dengan alamatnya di Jalan Serayu). Namun semua itu harus berakhir. Setelah selesai ujian, saya tampil di acara perpisahan bersama Eday, Endrico, Susanto dan Hendri Muliadi. Kita semua juga bernyanyi tentang masa SMA, masa indah, lucu, banyak cerita. Itu bukan hanya sekedar lagu. 20 tahun kemudian, saya masih ingat semuanya...

Susanto di hari perpisahan. Almarhum Pak Buaton duduk di belakangnya. 

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Malaysia Boleh: Kuala Lumpur

Kuala Lumpur is likely to be the only city I had been for work, transit and leisure. I also went there by various types of transportation, from taking coach, train and flying. However, if you think that I must have been very familiar with the city by now, I have to say I'm not. Despite the fact that I mentioned above, I don't go there very often. As luck would have it, I only went there once in a blue moon, just enough for me not to forget how the city roughly looks like.

Yet KL managed to secure a place in my heart in a strangest way possible. My first business trip to KL was to meet up with my customer, CIMB. On the next trip I had few years later, CIMB was now my employer. As for transit, let's not forget that KL is the home of AirAsia. I stopped in KL when I travelled to Laos and China. I also alighted at KL Central (after a seven-hour train ride from Johor Bahru) when I visited Kota Kemuning, the suburb where my friend Wiwi is staying. For some strange reason, KL and I would cross path from time to time.

Visiting the Petronas towers.
From left: Hendyono, Markus, Sudarto, Tommy and Setia.

Come to think of it, I only had two proper visits to KL so far. The first one was a bus ride together with my housemates then. The duration was roughly around five hours, I think, and we arrived at the wee hours since we departed at night. We hung out at a local coffee shop for an early breakfast before we decided to walk to Radius International Hotel in Bukit Bintang area. After checking in, we took the train to visit the Petronas towers and Suria KLCC. Later on that day, we went to Sunway Lagoon for lunch (and that's where I had Nandos for the first time). The day was ended with dinner at Alor Street Food and a short visit to Berjaya Times Square, right before it was closed for the day. We went to Puduraya bus interchange and headed to Malacca on the following day.

The second trip I had was also with another group of housemates, Jimmy and Ng Lina. We flew there to meet Endrico who worked in KL at that time. The first day we were there, we went to Genting for cold weather and casino. Day 2 was more of shopping mall visits, then we went back for a nap before we headed to KL Central and returned to Singapore.

Truth to be told, even though I had visited KL a couple of times, I didn't get to explore and see much of KL. What I can tell you is, I think KL is like a hybrid of Singapore and Jakarta, but feels like none. I don't find it charming or brimming with strong personality, but hey, what do I know? Perhaps a proper visit with a native Malaysian will change all that, haha...

The second proper visit to Malaysia.
From left: Anthony, Endrico and Jimmy.


Malaysia Boleh: Kuala Lumpur

Sepertinya Kuala Lumpur adalah satu-satunya kota yang pernah saya kunjungi dalam rangka kerja, transit dan liburan. Saya ke sana dengan berbagai macam sarana transportasi, mulai dari bis, kereta api dan pesawat. Kendati begitu, jika anda mengira saya mengenal KL dengan baik, harus saya katakan bahwa itu tidak benar. Meski deskripsi di atas memberikan kesan bahwa saya kerap kali ke sana, sesungguhnya saya jarang mengunjungi KL. Saya hanya pergi ke sana beberapa lama sekali sehingga cukup untuk mengingatkan saya bahwa KL itu kira-kira seperti apa. 

Akan tetapi KL berhasil mendapatkan tempat khusus di hati saya dengan cara yang teramat sangat unik. Perjalanan bisnis saya yang pertama adalah untuk bertemu dengan CIMB, nasabah saya saat itu. Di kali berikutnya saya ke KL untuk hal yang sama, CIMB sudah menjadi tempat saya bekerja. Kalau bicara tentang transit, KL adalah markas AirAsia. Saya singgah di ibukota Malaysia ini saat saya mengunjungi Laos dan Cina. Saya juga merapat ke KL Central (setelah perjalanan selama tujuh jam dengan menggunakan kereta dari Johor Bahru) saat saya bermain ke Kota Kemuning, daerah pemukiman tempat teman saya Wiwi berada. Untuk hal-hal seperti inilah saya datang ke KL dari waktu ke waktu. 

Markus dan teh tarik, saat kita tiba di KL di pagi hari.

Kalau dipikirkan lagi, sampai sejauh ini saya hanya pernah dua kali mengunjungi KL sebagai tempat tujuan liburan. Kunjungan pertama adalah bersama teman-teman serumah dan di kala itu, kita menaiki bis dan menempuh perjalanan darat selama lima jam. Karena berangkat di malam hari, kita tiba di pagi buta. Kita mampir sejenak di warung kopi untuk sarapan, lantas berjalan ke Radius Hotel yang berada di kawasan Bukit Bintang. Setelah check-in, kita menaiki kereta menuju ke menara Petronas dan Suria KLCC. Menjelang siang, kita pergi ke Sunway Lagoon (dan saya pertama kalinya mencicipi Nandos di situ). Hari tersebut pun kita tutup dengan makan malam di Jalan Alor serta kunjungan singkat ke Berjaya Times Square, sesaat sebelum pusat perbelanjaan itu tutup. Keesokan harinya, kita berangkat ke Melaka dari terminal bis Puduraya. 

Liburan kedua di KL juga saya lalui bersama teman-teman serumah, kali ini pesertanya adalah Jimmy dan Ng Lina. Kita berangkat untuk menjumpai Endrico yang saat itu bekerja di KL. Di hari pertama, kita berangkat ke Genting untuk kasino dan cuaca yang sejuk. Pada hari kedua, kita bertualang dari satu mal ke mal lain, lalu kembali ke apartemen untuk beristirahat sejenak. Setelah itu kita berangkat ke KL Central dan bertolak ke bandara untuk kembali ke Singapura. 

Berdasarkan ringkasan di atas, anda bisa mengerti kenapa saya tidak begitu mengenal KL. Meski saya berulang kali ke sana, saya tidak pernah benar-benar menjelajahi kotanya. Kesan yang saya dapat sejauh ini adalah, KL mirip seperti perpaduan Singapura dan Jakarta, tapi tidak memiliki daya tarik keduanya. Namun mungkin ini adalah pendapat orang yang minim pengalamannya, haha. Suatu hari nanti, mungkin perjalanan bersama orang Malaysia lokal bisa mengubah pandangan ini...

Jimmy, Ng Lina dan Endrico bersantai di apartemen, sesaat sebelum kita menuju ke KL Central.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Book Review: Ahok And The Untold Stories

When it comes to reading, there are books that I only read at home because they are very touching that I can't help crying after reading it half-way (I'm not a tough man, but in my defence, it's perfectly healthy to cry). I happened to have books from such category. One is books written by Sinead Moriarty (she surely knows how to make me laugh and cry), the others are books about Ahok.

Ahok was like a shooting star. In a very short span of time as a governor of Jakarta, he set examples and touched so many lives, especially Indonesians. He cared for his people and he showed us that things could be done differently. However, for whatever good that he tried to make, he ended up in jail instead. This is why his is such a compelling story. It was so unfair, but yet so inspiring.

This book was written by those interns at city hall. They not only saw the ex-governor with their own eyes, but they worked with him as well. It was based on firsthand observation, therefore I was very curious about it and I immediately got a help from my friend to obtain it. True enough, it didn't disappoint. From the book, I learnt more about what was going on at that time.

I already knew that Ahok was a very capable person. But it was amusing to read how he was willing to teach and be taught by others. The interns often quote him saying, "if you are smart, teach. If you are stupid, listen." This, apparently, was no exception for the man himself. Even though Ahok was publicly known to be loud, he did listen a lot from others, too.

Some of us might also remember the videos of official meeting that were uploaded on YouTube. Ahok was transparent, ever consistent in both words and actions. He was smart and quick in making decisions. Apart from revealing the impact of those videos to the civil servants, it was interesting to note that he wasn't afraid if the video captured him making mistakes. He was fully aware that he wasn't always going to be right all the time and he expected that we'd learn from his mistakes if there were any.

As the governor of Jakarta, he was a busy man. Every morning when he arrived at city hall, Ahok was greeted by the less fortunate people. He walked into all sorts of problems waiting for him to solved and he tackled them all in stride. In office, he simplified the bureaucracy to make it more efficient. The book showcased a blame game between Sanitary Office and the so-called Water Management Office due to the convoluted and overlapping responsibilities between the two. To the uninitiated, the inefficiency was mind blowing. Ahok obliterated such legacies and brought upon us the new era of bureaucracy, for example the consolidated governmental services known as Pelayanan Terpadu Satu Pintu.

Then of course there were chapters about budgeting and corruption. Those who worked with Ahok remembered how he scrutinised each line of the budgeting plan to ensure that it was accountable. Ahok didn't budge even when he was antagonised by the parliament members (some of them were eventually proven guilty by the Corruption Watch). He stood tall against all odds.

I am particularly impressed with Ahok's vision of Jakarta Smart City. It began with his personal habit of reading every SMS sent to him by the people of Jakarta. He was a dedicated man, but with a primitive approach. The interns then built him something that was more viable. It was a computerised system where all the messages could be read, delegated to the relevant team and actioned. If only this is continued by the current governor, Jakarta would have been a really modern city that was once envisioned by Ahok. Too bad it doesn't turn out to be that way. What a loss.

Lastly, there were also few stories about Vero. We know now that their marriage didn't last. But this was back then, when she was the wife of a governor. She did her best in her role. Reading those stories reminded me again that she was only human. Her work should be separated and acknowledged, despite the fact that she failed her marriage. Let's not condemn her but remember her good work instead.

Now, back to Ahok, how is the man not inspiring? We'll remember the good fight he had fought. To quote the words of the intern that wrote the first chapter, "it's all Ahok's fault. He made us fall in love with the government, bureaucracy and our beloved country." Don't ever stop believing...

The legendary remark on the budget planning that says, "your Grandma's understanding."
Illustration from: Ahok dan hal-hal yang belum terungkap.


Ahok Dan Hal-Hal Yang Belum Terungkap

Berbicara tentang bacaan, ada buku-buku tertentu yang hanya saya baca di rumah karena isinya sangat menyentuh dan seringkali membuat saya meneteskan air mata (saya bukan pria tangguh, tapi saya rasa menangis itu berarti sehat secara emosional). Di dalam koleksi buku-buku saya, yang termasuk kategori ini adalah karangan Sinead Moriarty (penulis ini tahu caranya membuat saya tertawa dan menangis) dan tentu saja buku-buku tentang Ahok.

Ahok tidak ubahnya seperti bintang kejora. Di dalam masa jabatannya yang singkat sebagai gubernur, dia telah memberikan banyak teladan dan menyentuh hidup begitu banyak orang, terutama orang Indonesia. Dia peduli akan nasib rakyatnya dan dia menunjukkan bahwa banyak hal bisa dilakukan dengan cara yang berbeda dengan yang selama ini kita yakini. Akan tetapi, untuk segala perubahan yang ia lakukan, kini ia malah mendekam di penjara. Karena inilah kisahnya sangat menggugah. Apa yang ia alami sangat tidak adil, tapi apa yang ia perbuat sangat menginspirasi. 

Buku ini ditulis oleh para karyawan yang magang di balaikota. Mereka tidak saja melihat sepak terjang Ahok dengan mata mereka sendiri, tetapi juga bekerja sama dengannya. Pengalaman langsung dari mereka inilah yang dirangkum menjadi buku, oleh karena itu saya merasa sangat tertarik dan lekas meminta teman saya untuk membelinya. This book was written by those interns at city hall. Hasilnya tidak mengecewakan. Dari buku ini, saya bisa membayangkan apa yang terjadi di kala Ahok menjabat.

Saya sudah tahu bahwa Ahok adalah orang yang berkemampuan. Justru karena itulah makanya fakta bahwa dia bersedia mengajar dan juga diajari terasa menarik. Para karyawan magang ini sering mengutip perkataan Ahok sendiri bahwa, "yang pintar mengajar, yang bodoh nurut." Ahok berbicara apa adanya dan dirinya sendiri pun bukanlah pengecualian. Meski ia terkenal banyak berbicara, siapa sangka dia pun tekun mendengar pendapat orang lain?

Beberapa dari kita juga pasti masih mengingat video-video rapat yang diunggah di Youtube oleh Pemprov DKI. Ahok senantiasa transparan dan konsisten, baik dalam perkataan maupun perbuatan. Dia cerdas dan cepat dalam mengambil keputusan. Buku ini juga mengisahkan tentang dampak dari video-video ini pada PNS di balaikota. Juga menarik untuk dicatat bahwa Ahok tidak takut bila dia berbuat kesalahan dan terekam oleh kamera. Dia sadar betul bahwa dia tidak selamanya membuat keputusan yang tepat dan dia berharap orang lain juga bisa belajar dari kesalahannya.

Sebagai gubernur Jakarta, Ahok adalah seorang yang sibuk. Di pagi hari saat dia tiba di balaikota, dia sudah disambut oleh mereka yang kurang beruntung nasibnya. Ahok melangkah dalam setiap masalah yang disampaikan padanya dan memberikan solusi. Di kantor, dia juga bekerja keras menyederhanakan birokrasi yang berbelit-belit. Buku ini menyorot tentang bagaimana Dinas Kebersihan dan Dinas Tata Air saling melempar tanggung jawab, suatu pemandangan yang mencengangkan bagi mereka yang tidak terbiasa dengan inefisiensi kantor pemerintah. Salah satu terobosan yang dilakukan Ahok adalah mengubah sistem yang ada, misalnya Pelayanan Terpadu Satu Pintu. 

Kemudian tentu saja ada bab-bab tentang anggaran dan korupsi. Mereka yang pernah magang dan membantu Ahok ingat tentang bagaimana dia menyisir baris demi baris anggaran untuk memastikan bahwa semuanya bisa dipertanggungjawabkan. Ahok bahkan tidak takut ketika anggota dewan yang terhormat berupaya menjegalnya dengan berbagai cara (beberapa di antaranya akhirnya terbukti bersalah dan ditangkap KPK). Ahok teguh pada pendiriannya meskipun diserang dari kiri-kanan.  

Saya terkesan terutama dengan visi Ahok tentang Jakarta Smart City. Di buku diceritakan bagaimana Ahok biasa membaca setiap SMS yang dikirim warga Jakarta. Ahok memiliki dedikasi yang tinggi, tapi caranya sangat primitif. Akhirnya tim yang membantunya membuatkan sistem yang bisa menampilkan setiap SMS di layar monitor sehingga bisa dipantau dan ditindak dengan cepat. Jika saja sistem ini masih dilanjutkan oleh gubernur sekarang, tentunya hari ini Jakarta akan selangkah lebih maju. Sayang sekali sebuah sistem dengan konsep seperti ini disia-siakan begitu saja. 

Terakhir, buku ini juga memuat beberapa cerita tentang Vero. Kita tahu sekarang bahwa pernikahan Ahok dan Vero telah bubar. Tapi cerita-cerita ini adalah ketika dia masih menyandang posisi sebagai istri gubernur. Dia melakukan yang terbaik sesuai perannya. Membaca cerita tentang Vero dan mengingat apa yang telah dilakukannya, saya jadi teringat bahwa dia pun manusia biasa. Hasil karyanya pantas dikenang sebagaimana adanya dan tidaklah pantas bila dicampuradukkan dengan masalah pribadi mereka. 

Kembali lagi ke Ahok, semakin dibaca, semakin saya merasa dia sungguh menginspirasi. Dia akan selalu dikenang karena telah memberikan yang terbaik dan menjalani semuanya secara ksatria. Kalau boleh saya mengutip tulisan seorang karyawan magang, "semua ini salah Ahok. Dia membuat kita mencintai pemerintahan, birokrasi dan negara kita yang tercinta..."

Sampul depan.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

First Chapter



Hello, 101 readers,

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been spending day and night working on my book, and no longer have time for much else as I want to finish it within three years. That is my goal at least. I don't have anything new so I thought I would post some of what I've been working on. This is the first chapter again, but it's been changed a lot - hopefully for the better.




THE ROGUE SCHOLAR

The plane that flies under the radar is the one that makes the kill.

          There I sat in a dingy, poorly lit, Greek restaurant. A delicious, well-stuffed gyro oozing tzatziki sauce lay on my plate like a bleeding gazelle just waiting to be devoured by a predator, which in this case was myself. My dad had kicked me out of his apartment for good at the tender age of nineteen years old just a few hours prior. As much as I was aware of how frighteningly unprepared I was to face the world, there was no situation food couldn’t instantly make better. How a Greek restaurant managed to survive in a Southern California barrio is beyond me. Usually the spectrum of ethnic food ranged from taco shops to pupuserias with not much in between. Brave new world I guess. Facing me on the other side of the table sat a massive 6-foot 2-inch Mexican powerlifter named Lumpy. He had a bic’ed head, a sleeve tattoo, and arms as big as most people’s legs. It must have been quite a contrast to see him sitting across from me, a shorter mostly fat, somewhat buff, white kid. Once he finished saying grace, I was finally able to do my thing.
          “Damn, Brick, you ever actually chew your food?” Lumpy asked me as I power-ate my gyro.
          “No,” I replied.
         I stared at him, assessing him mentally as I shoveled food into my mouth. There sat a man different from me in every way possible - a lighthearted, sharp-tonged, jock who was shallow albeit kind. True he must have faced adversity growing up on the mean streets of National City back in the 80’s, but as the center on his high school’s varsity football team, he was given much love and leeway for his physical talents. That’s what gave him his shallow jokester nature, I assumed. He would never know what it was like to be a hated reject like myself. The beautiful, happy people are incapable of reaching the depth of thought that those of us with tragically painful childhoods could obtain. We became deep thinkers by reflecting back on the suffering, becoming amateur philosophers as we sought to give meaning to it all.
          And while I appreciated the fact that he took me out to dinner to cheer me up after getting kicked out, the truth was, outside of a gym, this man had nothing to teach me. In fact, that’s where we had met a few months prior, at Kegrice Gym, a hole-in-the-wall powerlifting gym on Fourth and Vine in downtown San Diego. I had finally found that spot after a months-long search. Powerlifting gyms aren’t like Zumbas - they can’t be found on every corner.
          I still remember my first day walking into the gym. A symphony of clanking weights and random grunts greeted my ears while a mixed aroma of rubber and sweat assaulted my nose as I shook hands with Kegrice, the guy who ran and named the gym. The smell was one that I came to love believe it or not because lifting weights at Kegrice’s was the highlight of my day after dealing with the tension of living with my abusive father.
          The place was filled broken men like myself though most of them were a bit older and way more badass then I ever would be. Many of them had funny nicknames too like Don “Shopping Cart” Rodriguez. He got his nickname because he once got in a fight with an Asian guy over a parking space at a strip mall. The Asian guy whipped out a butterfly knife and got all fancy with it. To defend himself, Don grabbed the nearest weapon he could get his hands on. As you may have guessed, it was a shopping cart. Then there was a guy they called Tri short for Triathlete. I always figured they called him that because he must have participated in Ironman competitions. Silly me. One day he alluded to the fact that he hated running.
           “But you’re a triathlete?” I asked in confusion. The whole gym busted up laughing.
         “Tri ain’t a triathlete,” Kegrice explained. “We call him that because one time he was riding his bike at night on the beach and he cops pulled him over. They searched him and right as the cop felt the package of meth in his jacket, Tri made a run for it. He ran to the ocean and jumped in. The cops were pissed. They even had a helicopter fly over the ocean to look for him but he was hiding under a pier. So since he rode his bike, ran, and swam all in one night we call him Triathlete.”
         Kegrice himself was called “Carp.” Something to do with being a bottom feeder when it came to his choice in women. But of all the characters in the gym, Kegrice paired me up with Lumpy as a lifting partner. He thought we’d be a good match even though I was much weaker than he.
          Back at the Greek restaurant Lumpy began to advise me.
          “I know things are rough right now, Brick. It feels like this is the worst it’s ever been. But it’ll get better.”
         I paid no attention to his Hallmark spiel. Instead I wondered how long it was going to take before he hated me like everyone else I met eventually did. Because while I did have a certain amount of charm, it always only ever lasted so long. Whether it was five minutes, five months, or even five years, it would inevitably wear off. At that point my likable façade was exposed as fraudulent, and I had to move on and find myself a new friend, or scene, or crew as the case may be.
         “I know you think I’m too cool to get what it’s like to be you,” he continued. “But you’re wrong. I bet right now, you’re not even listening to a word I’m saying. Instead you’re worrying about what I think of you, and you feel distant.”
          The thoughts that were running through my mind stopped in their tracks. I felt the blood drain from my face. Woah, did this meathead just read my mind!? I thought to myself. His dissection didn’t stop there.
          “You probably moved around a lot as a kid,” he observed.
          “Yup. Eight different cities, two states, and even another country, and I’m only nineteen.”
          “Another country? Which one?”
          “Germany.”
          “You speak German?”
          “No, but I’m fluent in French.”
          “Of course; makes perfect sense,” he quipped. “Your parents don’t love you much, do they?”
          “That obvious, huh?”
          Despite my nonchalant replies I was in shock. I couldn’t believe he managed to figure out so much about me in so little time. We had never even hung out outside the gym before that night.
          “Oh, I could tell you had abandonment issues the second you walked into the gym,” Lumpy continued. “I knew exactly why you were there too. You think if you’re strong on the outside it’ll make up for your lack of strength on the inside. I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of friends.”
          “Do you count?”
          “Yeah, fuck it. Why not?”
          “OK, so that’s two.”
          Lumpy cracked a smile at my joke, but I was still in awe. All those workouts he spent messing around, incessantly cracking jokes and seeming as if he was incapable of taking anything other than his powerlifting career seriously - all that time he had been paying attention, analyzing, sizing up. However I was a very private person, and was as horrified at being exposed as I was impressed at his ability to do so.
          “Let’s get out of here,” I said, wanting to end this most uncomfortable conversation.
          “There’s a park down the street. Let’s go spark a joint,” Lumpy replied.
          We loaded into my ’92 hatchback Civic which now served as both my car and home. I started her up and gave the engine a couple minutes to get warm.
          “I gotta admit, bro, I never thought you were this perceptive. You see who I am. I thought you were too much of jock to understand.”
          “Thing is, Brick, that pretty girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day back in high school, she had her struggles too. Just cause you didn’t see them doesn’t mean they weren’t there. And her pain is just as real as yours.”
          His voice was slightly high pitched – not higher than a normal one I guess just higher than what one might expect from a muscle-bound powerlifter. It always had a slight tinge of sarcasm he could never quite shake even when speaking about serious subjects. No doubt a result of having been a smart-ass his whole life.
          “Maybe, but I’m still way more messed up in the head then she’ll ever be,” I replied as I put my car in reverse and finally pulled out of my parking spot.
          “And it’s good that you’re aware of that, but don’t forget, the world will not forgive you your shortcomings just because there’s a good reason that you have them.”
         “That’s so true. Dude, you should be a preacher,” I said as Lumpy began guiding me to the park. He cracked a smile in response.
          “You know I used to be a drug smuggler.”
          “Really?”
          “Yeah I used to run product from Mexico to Vegas and I used to cook meth too. Make a left at the light. Other left.”
         “Wow, that’s crazy,” I said almost more to myself than Lumpy.
         “I am a powerlifter after all. Watch out for that guy riding a bike.”
         “He’s on the other side of the street!”
         “Yeah, but I seen how you drove on the way over here.”
         “Whatever. So what’s you being a powerlifter have to do with drug smuggling?”
         “You ever seen a powerlifter working at McDonald’s?”
         “No.”
         “Right, because powerlifters either have degrees and real careers, or they make money getting hired for protection by mafia and kingpins and whatnot. Plus, we get in on the drug trade through our steroid connections.”
         We soon pulled up to the park. Finding a tree to lean up against we watched the sun slowly sink into the horizon, giving the sky, willow trees, and everything else directly in its rays’ path a warm, orange glow. Children’s laughter off in the distance - more an expression of joy to be alive than an expression of finding something humorous - provided the soundtrack to this postcard-worthy scene. It would have been a beautiful evening to enjoy had I not just been made homeless. Lumpy pulled a joint out of his pocket. He tilted his head down and slightly to the right as he lit it up cupping his hand to shield the cherry from the breeze that threatened to extinguish it.
          “So you said, ‘used to’ be a drug smuggler. What do you do now?” I asked him.
          “I pan for gold,” he replied passing me the joint.
          “What the fuck!?” I took a hit, held it in, slowly blew it out. “Where you pan for gold at?”
          “Can’t tell you.”
          I laughed. “You afraid I’m gonna to get in on your racket?”
         “No. But where I go isn’t exactly a public location. The people who own the land wouldn’t be happy if they knew what I was up to.”
         Lumpy was often mysteriously vague, I came to find out, which only elicited the very curiosity he was trying to avoid.
       “You’re an interesting individual, I’ll give you that. So you must have some stories from your drug smuggling days.”
          “One or two.”
          “Tell me some. I have nowhere to go.”
       He obliged my request and proceeded to keep my mind off my new-found hardship by recounting some of his stories. They ranged from the funny to the serious. There was, for example, the time he dropped his ecstasy pills while gambling at a craps table. “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “my aspirin!” as he got on all fours and scurried around the floor in desperate search of his pricey pharmaceuticals.
          There was also the time he and a friend were doing lines of blow off a toilet tank in a bathroom stall of a casino. They were by themselves when they went in, but by the time they finished snorting lines, the restroom was packed. They waited in the stall for the place to clear, but people kept rotating in and out.
          After losing patience, his friend said, “Dude we can’t spend all night in a bathroom stall. Let’s just walk out. We’re big-ass powerlifters; what’s anybody gonna say?”
          “After you,” Lumpy replied. So his friend walked out followed by Lumpy who then zipped up his pants.
          “What are you doing?” his friend asked, noticing him zipping up his fly.
          “If we’re gonna be a gay couple, I’m at least going to be the pitcher not the receiver.”
          There were serious stories as well of course, including the one that made him turn away from it all. It resulted from things going sour with a kingpin in Vegas named Big Smooth. Big Smooth had his start in the Army where he ran a drug ring while stationed in Germany. Though he was “just” an enlisted man, he was the most powerful person on base. Even his commanding officers feared him. Though there was no concrete evidence of the crimes he committed, they lived in anticipation of the day they could discharge him. One day they believed their prayers were answered.
          Big Smooth lived a big life, making money, selling and using drugs, and eating and drinking to his heart’s content. But all this living big made him big, literally. The day came when he was due for a physical and there was simply no way he was going to make weight. His superiors knew it and so did he. Smooth laughed as he recounted to Lumpy how one of his commanding officer’s face dropped when he took off his shirt for the physical revealing liposuction scars on his belly. The magnificent bastard had made weight by getting cosmetic surgery.
         Anyways, at one point Lumpy somehow managed to cross Smooth. Not one who stood for being crossed, Smooth and his goons ambushed Lumpy in his own apartment. The goons held Lumpy down while Smooth pulled out his knife and held it to his throat. He stared Lumpy dead in the eyes. “I’m not gonna kill you today,” he said. “I’m gonna let you go. I want you to live with the torture of knowing that one day I will come back and murder your ass.” On that day, Lumpy moved back to San Diego and moved back in with his parents. He never returned to the drug trade.
           And with that story our night came to an end.
           “It’s getting late, dog. Take me home, yeah?” Lumpy asked.
           “OK.”
          We chatted a bit more on the ride back to his house. Then I let him out and I watched him walk to his door. Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of loneliness. I tried tuning it out by turning on the radio. Finding a well-lit strip mall, I parked my car, and did my best to get comfortable and fall asleep but too many thoughts were swimming through my head. It was a bittersweet day. I lost a home but gained a friend. And not just any friend - one who was deep, experienced, and though I didn’t realize it at the time, one who showed me a lot of love. Funny how friendship can sometimes come from the most unexpected people.



Lumpy and I posing at Scottish Games