Friendship Version 2.0

When I wrote about friendship in our thirties and fleshed out the ideas in five episodes, I thought there was only so much to be written about such topics. A very recent experience proved me wrong. Just when I thought I'd seen everything, this unusual encounter happened and, looking back, I don't think I handled it well. In fact, I could have gotten it all wrong if not for the input from others. Suffice to say that it wised me up a bit. It was weird, but yet so interesting that it encouraged me to share it here.

The story began with a friend saying that another friend was in some difficult situation and wished to get help. When he was invited into our chat group, we noticed that the picture he posted about his whereabouts was rather odd. Somebody figured out that it was a prison and this peculiar friend eventually admitted that he was serving his time.

I barely knew the man, to be frank. The only time we ever hung out together was when we visited the haunted island 20 years ago. We had no contact whatsoever since then. Still I thought friends will be friends. I was intrigued by the idea of giving a second chance. I mean, people do make mistakes and aren't we supposed to forgive and forget? I was quick to think of a grand plan about what we could do and who could help him when he was released. 

But if only real life was ever that plain and simple. After discussing with a close circle of friends, I was informed that getting too involved in this matter didn't seem to be a very good idea. The guy was a bad news. The number of years he spent behind bars indicated that his case was quite severe. The fact that he could use a mobile phone and join our chat group while he was in jail meant he was well-adjusted and had means to buy his way in a corrupted environment. Lastly, a family didn't just disown its family member, unless he had committed repeated offences and was deemed as beyond saving.

That's when I realised how naive I was. I would have never thought of that. He claimed that he was now a changed man and I'd love to believe that, too. However, after hearing from others, I guess one couldn't be too cautious. I certainly didn't want any trouble, so I contacted a friend whom might have a chance to employ him, saying that I withdrew my request. It'd be awful if things turned out to be bad and I ended up inadvertently putting this helping hand into an unwanted situation.

We reached a consensus that the least we could do was to provide a one-off financial help. We were supposed to do that, but after realising how wrong my judgement was in my original response to this situation, I was very much in doubt. A friend who had brought him into our group eventually settled this himself. I'm not entirely sure what happened after this ex-convict friend of mine was released.

In hindsight, as much as I'd like to believe that people are naturally kind, I was also reminded again that real life is not always a fairy tale that ends happily ever after. The experience clearly showed me that I didn't exactly know how to react in such situations. I am often impulsive in getting things done, which may or may not be a good thing, depends on what the situation is. If I didn't seek a second opinion from others, I could have done something that I'd regret if it went horribly wrong in the future. In the scenario above, helping the man was supposed to be a calculated risk. If I were to go all out and help, it should have been something that I could manage and not at the expense of others...

That unusual picture...

Persahabatan Versi 2.0

Ketika saya menulis tentang persahabatan di usia 30an, saya kira saya sudah menuangkan semua pokok pikiran yang ada dalam lima episode. Sebuah pengalaman yang baru saja terjadi membuktikan bahwa ternyata masih ada hal yang terlewatkan. Kejadian ini sungguh tidak lazim dan, kalau saya lihat kembali, rasanya saya tidak menanganinya dengan baik. Jika bukan karena masukan dari teman-teman lain, bisa jadi saya akan salah langkah.

Cerita ini bermula dari seorang teman yang mengatakan bahwa ada teman SMA kita yang sedang dalam kesulitan dan ingin meminta bantuan. Teman ini pun lantas diundang ke dalam grup percakapan WhatsApp. Ketika dia mengirimkan foto yang menunjukkan lokasinya, saya sempat merasa bahwa ada yang aneh dengan foto tersebut. Akhirnya satu di antara kita berhasil menerka bahwa itu adalah foto lembaga permasyarakatan. Teman yang sedang dirundung masalah ini pun menjelaskan bahwa dia sedang dipenjara. 

Saya tidak mengenal teman ini dengan baik karena jarang bergaul dengannya sewaktu SMA. Sekali-kalinya kita bersama adalah saat kita mengunjungi Pulau Temajo 20 tahun yang lalu. Kita tidak pernah saling kontak lagi semenjak itu. Meskipun demikian, saya berpikir bahwa seorang teman tetaplah teman. Di satu sisi, saya juga tertarik dengan konsep memberikan kesempatan kedua bagi yang membutuhkan. Maksud saya, setiap orang bisa berbuat salah, jadi bukankah kita sepatutnya saling memberikan maaf dan kesempatan? Saya lekas memikirkan apa yang bisa dilakukan dan siapa saja yang bisa membantunya setelah dia dibebaskan. 

Andai saja kehidupan nyata sesederhana itu. Setelah berdiskusi dengan beberapa teman, saya diberitahukan bahwa terlalu melibatkan diri dalam hal ini bukanlah ide yang baik. Pertama-tama, dari lamanya masa tahanan, bisa disimpulkan bahwa kasus yang membuatnya dibui ini bukanlah kasus yang enteng. Fakta bahwa dia bisa menggunakan telepon genggam saat sedang menjalani hukuman di lembaga permasyarakatan menunjukkan bahwa dia cukup leluasa dan juga lihai dalam menyesuaikan diri di lingkungan penjara yang korup. Hal lainnya yang harus dipertimbangkan adalah kenapa dia tidak lagi dianggap oleh keluarganya. Yang namanya darah daging itu tidak dikucilkan begitu saja, kecuali kalau ini sudah kejadian yang berulang kali sehingga dianggap tidak bisa ditolong lagi. 

Saya jadi sadar bahwa saya terlalu naif. Terus-terang saya tidak akan pernah berpikir sampai sejauh itu. Teman yang dipidana ini berkata bahwa dia kini sudah berubah dan saya ingin percaya bahwa dia telah bertobat, namun setelah mendengar pemaparan di atas, saya rasa tidak ada salahnya untuk lebih berhati-hati dalam bersikap. Saya tentunya tidak ingin bermasalah, jadi saya hubungi lagi teman saya yang memiliki kemungkinan untuk mempekerjakan teman yang ditahan ini dan saya berujar bahwa sebaiknya ide saya dilupakan saja. Saya tidak ingin niat baik disalahgunakan dan akhirnya malah membuat teman lain terjerumus dalam situasi yang serba salah dan tidak terduga. 

Pada akhirnya saya sepakat bahwa yang bisa kita lakukannya untuknya hanyalah bantuan dana satu kali saja. Kita harusnya melakukan itu, namun setelah saya menyadari betapa saya telah salah dalam menilai situasi, saya jadi merasa ragu. Teman yang pertama membawa kabarnya kepada kita akhirnya menyelesaikan urusan ini sendiri. Saya tidak tahu apa yang terjadi selanjutnya dengan teman mantan narapidana ini. 

Kalau saya renungkan lagi, saya percaya bahwa setiap orang itu pada dasarnya baik, tapi saya juga diingatkan kembali bahwa hidup ini bukanlah dongeng yang senantiasa berakhir bahagia. Pengalaman ini membuka mata saya bahwa saya ternyata belum cukup bijak dalam menyikapi situasi seperti ini. Saya seringkali bertindak cepat tapi impulsif dan sikap ini bisa saja berakibat baik atau buruk, tergantung situasi apa yang saya hadapi. Jika bukan karena masukan dari yang lain, saya bisa saja melakukan hal yang akan saya sesali di kemudian hari jika apa yang saya lakukan ternyata malah berdampak buruk. Di skenario di atas, membantu teman yang kembali ke masyarakat adalah resiko yang harus dikalkulasi. Seandainya saya memutuskan untuk terlibat, maka apa yang saya perbuat hendaknya bisa saya tanggung sepenuhnya tanpa menyusahkan orang lain...

Ancient Architecture - Advance Civilization - Beyond Human

Hello,

I have never really written any stories or blog, because I love to talk more than typing. But this time, I shall do something different. ☺

It all began in my secondary school days, around 1991-1992. There was a school assignment, a group assignment. We all gathered at my friend's house, whose dad is a very religious person and collects many books. Most of the books are related to Muslim.

Out of curiosity, I picked the thickest book, with green color cover on it. What attracted me was the book title:  Hubungan antara Islam dan Segitiga Bermuda (The Link between Muslim and Bermuda Triangle). It is an extremely old book.

I started to read, and read, going through the content, and I was getting more excited and curious. After the group assignment completed, my friend's dad allowed me to bring his collection back and I started to read it everyday.

The book is really thick, and it will be too long for me to share everything, so the summary is Bermuda Triangle exists because of some vengeful souls. 

In America - ancient time, the white army would capture the blacks, and would throw them to the sea (the current Bermuda Triangle) - and feed them alive to the sharks. This caused the souls to be restless, hence the curse: whoever and whichever crosses by the Bermuda Triangle to disappear. The only person who could pass by the Bermuda Triangle (as mentioned on that book) was a priest, who saw the vengeful souls, kept his prayer and strong faith. He could not save the souls, but at least with his prayer, he calmed the souls and passed the Bermuda Triangle.

I was not fully convinced with this, as I am someone who seek the fact and evidence. I started to read more about the conspiracy theory books, go to warnet (warung internet) - the internet cafe which was Rp.8000 per hour (extremely expensive with Dial-Up speed in year 1996). 

Okay, above are just a "appetizer" to start my stories here. Now I will start with the main course. There are a lot and really a lot of mysteries on this planet. UFO & Aliens are common mysteries that everyone heard of. Let me just cover the Nazca Lines, The Time Traveler, and World Pyramid(s). 

1. Nazca Lines

A huge huge scratches on earth's land - Peru

Nazca Lines are only visible when we look from the top and only discovered by human when they are flying with plane and helicopter.

Archaeologists suggest the line has been there since 500 BC. Here are the Nazca Lines that have been discovered so far. The shapes could only be seen from the top of the sky.

This picture was taken from helicopter's view. They called it the Astronauts.

This gets interesting, ain't it? How did it happen? Why is there a scratch on the earth surface with a sign of hands waving to the sky? And if it really is an astronaut waving hand, who is he communicating to?

Nazca lines mystery remains unsolved. One of my bucket list is to fly over with helicopter and wave back 😆 Who knows I am the person that they have been waiting to waive back 😋

2. The Time Traveler

Albert Einstein has confirmed the possibility of time travel. If we can travel faster than the speed of light, there will be a quantum of energy that we never know, and then we will time travel.

But it remains as a theory. Where are the evidences? There are many evidences that have been published, but some are hoax too. But now, I present to you the greatest mystery which happened in real life - year 2003.

Andrew Carlssin, who won USD 350 millions in 2 weeks with all straight wins on trading floor. He was later caught & investigated by police. He told the police, someone from year 2256 visited him and has gave him all future's information. Later, he was bailed by someone mysterious and both have vanished since then.

Where are they? Travel back to future?

3. World Pyramid(s)

Pyramids do not only exist in Egypt. But they are all over the world and are indeed connected.

The magnificent pyramid(s) have too many similarities - despite of the locations and cultural differences: the architecture and building structures, the golden mask for the death, the obelisk and also the animals and symbols from the time when the ancient civilizations worshipped the SUN.

If the similarities across the continents of all mentioned above with evidences might not convince you yet, what if I tell you that if you connect all these ancient structures (Easter Island Moai statues, the pyramids across globes), they'll line up a straight line which forms a perfect round of circle. For me, this is something that is definitely guided - by advanced civilization.

Below is for your shocking fact & references:

3.1 The list of ancient structures & mysteries - location on earth.

Pay attention on the To Axis point. The miles, are almost identical!!

The Perfect Line - when we see on top of the globe - on those ancient structures, it is linked and formed the famous The Great Circle. 

Okay, I guess some of you might feel sleepy on these conspiracy theories - which I strongly believe and craft in my DNA.

This is the end of my introduction for few world's mysteries. Many of us believe that God creates everything. But there is one thing that I also believe, which is an advance civilization that has influenced, supported and guided us since the past.

On my next story, probably I shall share about: The real MIB (Man In Black), The visitors from space and probably about Moai Statue in Easter Island.

GRAB: My Life

Why do I choose GRAB for living? Because at my age now and after all these years, I... I barely accomplished anything useful for my family. Apart from getting married and having two children, the only thing I feel proud of is making my Mum a grandma. Now she has grandchildren at home.

Anyway, with GRAB, I can ensure myself to fulfill my duty. I learnt stuff along the way, from motorcycle, insurance, gadgets, etc. that were required to be a GRAB biker. Well, at least I can contribute in paying the monthly expenses. My Mum had been smiling a bit since then.

Beside that, GRAB can help people who need it, especially in Pontianak. The first time I started to work, I felt a little bit embarrassed to wear the official GRAB jacket, but I eventually got used to it. Now I feel proud wearing it, even though my job is just to get and drop passengers on time. I feel privileged in driving them safely to their destination.

People think GRAB bikers only earn pennies, but if we work properly, we can actually earn more and more cash. It's a decent job and I'm proud to be a GRAB biker...

Lunch Time With Wawa

I always have lunch with my friend and ex-housemate Wawa every once in a while. There are good reasons for this, of course. First of all, there is this delicious kampong fried rice nearby where she stays. As if this isn't good enough, the meal is often free because she'll buy me lunch. Then, finally, she always has some stories to tell. Her stories, for some strange reason, are often sad. This makes the fried rice taste even better, because for that one hour, you'll cling onto the only good thing that you can count on.

Our last lunch was supposed to be no different, but the fried rice stall was closed! That must be an omen and I should have taken it seriously, but we carried on and hung out at the chicken rice stall instead. I wouldn't mind a change of menu for once because the chicken rice was good and I hadn't had it for quite some time. Then came Wawa and, as we started having our lunch, the storytelling began.

This chicken rice was one helluva bad news! Just kidding, haha.

Much to my surprise, Wawa got four sad stories. That's like whole lotta bad news to take in one go. By the end of story, Wawa sighed and wondered why many things happened in a way she didn't understand. Death came by without any warning, reminding her how fragile life could be. Having said that, she wondered why she was even here on earth. It was like, what for?

I had to admit that I was stunned to see that. Of all the ex-housemates, me included, Wawa was the most God-fearing and faithful one. I always looked up to her when it came to this aspect. But then it must be too much for her to bear that she cracked a little bit, so we had a discussion that I never thought we would be having, especially when I'm so specialised in talking nonsense. But it was a good discussion and looking back, I think it's worth summarising and sharing it here.

About things that happened, regardless how bad the experiences were when we went through them, they did happened for a reason. However, it might take us some time to finally get the right perspective. We might find it unfair and confusing at first, but all would be revealed when the time had come. If my life was any indicator, it took all the unpleasant events to bring me where I am today. Hence when bad thing happens, accept it and move on. Asking, "why me," won't make you feel better. It's not like you are going to know why, anyway.

The kampong fried rice that we normally had.

As for the death, Wawa's stories that day covered both ends of the spectrum. You either got really sick and died or you were healthy but dropped dead just like that. I quoted John Lennon that, "life is what happens to you while you are making other plans." Since we don't get to know when our time is up, why bother worrying about it? We better follow our dreams and chase what counts while we can.

And this eventually brought us to the final questions. Why are we here? Do we actually make a difference? I remember telling Wawa that we were here to make a dent in the universe! Okay, that was probably too over-confident, but even if we weren't destined to cause any dent, we still touched other people's lives. It's just the way of the of the world that people don't stop and tell us we actually matter, alright, but don't stop believing it. 

That three points above, they were lingering in my mind until now. It feels good to get rid of them in the form of writing. I think I'm ready for another free lunch now...

Wawa and Setia, waiting for the fried rice.

Makan Siang Bersama Wawa

Setiap kali ada kesempatan, saya selalu menyempatkan diri untuk makan siang bersama teman dan mantan teman serumah saya, Wawa. Ada alasan-alasan kuat kenapa saya dengan senang hati menempuh perjalanan sejauh 20 menit dengan MRT ini. Pertama-tama, di dekat rumahnya ada nasi goreng kampung yang lezat dan saya gemari. Selain itu, santap siang bersama Wawa seringkali gratis karena saya biasanya ditraktir. Alasan terakhir adalah, selain makan gratis, Wawa juga selalu memiliki beraneka cerita yang entah kenapa sering berakhir tragis. Paket nasi goreng gratis plus cerita sedih ini adalah sesuatu yang sulit saya lewatkan. 

Makan siang kita minggu lalu seharusnya kurang-lebih sama dengan sebelumnya, tetapi siapa sangka kedai nasi gorengnya ternyata tutup. Seharusnya saya menyadari bahwa ini adalah pertanda buruk, tapi berhubung saya sudah tiba di sana, kita pindah lokasi dan akhirnya menikmati nasi ayam. Saya tidak keberatan sesekali berganti menu karena nasi ayam ini juga terkenal enak dan saya sudah lama tidak mencicipinya. Setelah menunggu beberapa saat, tibalah Wawa dengan satu nampan nasi ayam. Ketika kita mulai makan siang, dongeng Wawa pun dimulai.

Sudarpo, Wawa dan Endrico, saat membawa saya menikmati nasi ayam ini untuk pertama kalinya di tahun 2005. 

Saya agak terkejut saat menyadari bahwa saat itu Wawa memiliki empat cerita sedih. Rasanya terlalu banyak untuk ditanggung oleh sepiring nasi ayam. Saat cerita berakhir, Wawa pun menarik napas panjang sambil berujar, kenapa kabar buruk datang beruntun. Ia merasa gagal paham. Kematian datang tanpa peringatan, mengingatkannya kembali bahwa kehidupan bisa sedemikian rapuhnya. Dan Wawa pun jadi bertanya, apa sesungguhnya arti hidup ini? 

Terus-terang saya agak tertegun saat melihat Wawa seperti itu. Dari semua mantan teman serumah termasuk saya sendiri, Wawa adalah yang paling saleh. Saya selalu mengaguminya dalam aspek ini. Wawa selalu memiliki jawaban, jadi agak janggal rasanya melihat dia justru bertanya. Akhirnya kita pun terlibat dalam sebuah diskusi yang tidak pernah saya bayangkan sebelumnya, sebab saya selalu lebih cocok dalam bersenda-gurau, bukannya topik seperti ini. Itu adalah sebuah percakapan yang menarik dan terlalu sayang untuk tidak dibagikan sebagai buah pikiran, oleh karenanya saya tulis ulang di sini.

Wawa yang saleh, saat berperan sebagai Bathsheba di tahun 2007. 

Tentang kenapa sesuatu terjadi, meskipun pahit pengalamannya saat terjadi pada kita, semua yang buruk terjadi karena ada alasannya, hanya saja kita butuh waktu untuk menyadarinya dalam sudut pandang yang tepat. Pada awalnya mungkin kita merasa bahwa sesuatu yang menimpa kita ini sungguh tidak adil dan membingungkan, namun pada akhirnya kita akan mengerti setelah tiba waktunya. Jika hidup saya bisa dipakai sebagai indikasi, segala sesuatu yang buruk dan terjadi pada saya akhirnya membawa saya pada hari ini. Akan beda ceritanya kalau ini melenceng sedikit saja. Berdasarkan hal tersebut, jika sesuatu yang buruk terjadi, saya belajar untuk menerima dan mencari tahu, apa yang bisa dikerjakan selanjutnya. Percuma jika kita bertanya, "kenapa saya," sebab itu tidak akan membuat kita merasa lebih baik. Lagipula bertanya seperti itu tidak akan membuahkan jawaban apa-apa. 

Akan halnya kematian, cerita Wawa mencakup dua ujung spektrum yang bertolak belakang. Seseorang bisa saja sakit parah dan meninggal atau sehat-sehat saja sebelumnya, lantas meninggal begitu saja. Saya mengutip John Lennon saat itu, bahwa hidup adalah apa yang terjadi saat kita sibuk membuat rencana. Karena kita tidak pernah tahu kapan hidup kita berakhir, mungkin tidak sebaiknya kita terlalu khawatir tentang hal ini. Waktu yang kita dimiliki akan lebih berguna jika dimanfaatkan untuk mengejar impian. 

Dan dua hal tersebut akhirnya membawa kita ke dua pertanyaan terakhir yang saling berkaitan. Kenapa kita ada di sini? Apakah kita sebenarnya membuat perbedaan dengan keberadaan kita ini? Saya ingat bahwa menggunakan perumpamaan kalau kita di sini untuk meninggalkan sedikit lekukan di jagad raya ini. Mungkin saja ungkapan tersebut terlalu optimis, tapi walaupun kita tidak ditakdirkan untuk mengubah dunia, kita tetap saja menyentuh kehidupan orang-orang terdekat dan teman-teman kita. Meski kita hampir tidak pernah diberitahukan orang lain bahwa kita berarti bagi mereka, jangan pernah berhenti percaya bahwa sedikit banyak kita telah mengubah hidup mereka dengan apa yang kita ucapkan dan perbuat.

Tiga hal dalam tiga paragraf di atas terngiang-ngiang di benak saya sempai saat ini. Lega rasanya bisa menuangkannya dalam bentuk tulisan. Hmm, saya rasa saya sudah siap untuk ditraktir makan siang lagi...

Nasi goreng kampung, tampak atas. 

The Hard Rock Moments

This story began in one fine afternoon, when I was finding out the location of Hard Rock Cafe in the specific countries that I'd like to visit in late October this year. After that, out of curiosity, I browsed its outlets around Asia and realized that Hard Rock actually had one shop in Yangon. To think that I actually visited Myanmar last year and was at Myanmar Plaza before, the same location where Hard Rock Cafe was! If only I knew it then! I'd been kicking myself for not doing due diligence prior to my visit to Myanmar, haha.

A Hard Rock moment at Shwedagon Pagoda, Yangon, 2017.

Anyway, just to share a bit of the background here, I'm never a fashionable person. I only have few decent clothes that I wear year in, year out. They are alright, neither expensive nor branded, just nice to cover myself from being naked. But there was something about Hard Rock that attracted me and what I experienced that afternoon got me reminiscing again about the day I fell in love with Hard Rock.

There were times when I actually didn't care about Hard Rock. Back then in Jakarta, even during our visit to Bali or Malacca, I couldn't be bothered with it. Years later, when my Dad and I stepped out from Universal Studios in Osaka, there was an outlet right in front of us. We went in as my Dad said he'd like to get a gift for his friend, so I got one for my wife, too. Then, on our last day in Yokohama, I also saw another branch when I had a long walk in Minato Mirai, so I went to get one t-shirt, this time for my buddy Parno.

Before I was a Hard Rock fan. Bali, 2005. 

Few months after that, before attending the Bon Jovi concert, my friends and I had our dinner at Hard Rock Cafe Jakarta. While waiting for my fried rice, I remember staring at each and every memorabilia from my rock and roll heroes. For some strange reason, suddenly I had these particular lyrics from Don McLean's American Pie playing repeatedly in my head at that moment, "do you believe in a rock and roll? Can music save your mortal soul?"

The decoration on the wall, from clothes, musical instruments to verses such as we will rock you or love is all you need, was very inspiring. I just felt like I was in a right place where I belonged. That's when I was converted into a Hard Rock fan. Then it dawned on me how iconic the t-shirt was. It came with the logo and the city where the clothes were from. That alone was a great reminder and a piece of memory that was worth keeping!

A Hard Rock moment in Stonehenge, 2016.

I loved Hard Rock from that moment onwards. With the exception of Yangon (which I found very ironic), I never failed to shop at Hard Rock whenever it was available in the city I visited. I got some for myself, just like the nice leather jacket that kept me warm in freezing London weather, but others, interestingly, were for others. There were times that I thought it'd look good on either my wife or friends, so I got it for them instead. The one below was an example. When we visited Sentosa during the Walking Tour that I organized, I saw this and immediately remember a guitarist friend of mine. He would definitely rock it and true enough, he got the look!

Along with the ancient art of sending postcards, the Hard Rock mini adventure had been the highlight of my trips. Since that fateful night in Jakarta, I had been finding my way to Hard Rock Cafe Kuala Lumpur, London, Paris, Singapore and Hong Kong. I'm not entirely sure if this can be categorized as a hobby but if it is ever one, it has been fun, though is unlikely to be completed, haha. Next stop? I don't know, may be Shanghai and Fukuoka? We shall see!

Hardy and his great Hard Rock moment, 2017. 

Kenangan Bersama Hard Rock

Cerita ini bermula di suatu sore, ketika saya mencari tahu tentang lokasi Hard Rock Cafe di negara-negara yang ingin saya kunjungi akhir tahun ini. Setelah itu, saya iseng melihat-lihat lokasi lainnya di Asia dan saat itu pula saya menyadari bahwa ada Hard Rock Cafe di Yangon. Saya tidak tahu sebelumnya, padahal saya sempat mengunjungi Myanmar tahun lalu dan bertemu dengan mantan rekan kerja di Myanmar Plaza, tempat dimana Hard Rock Cafe berada! Rasanya konyol sekali, begitu dekat tapi tidak kesampaian, haha.

Oh ya, sebagai latar belakang cerita, perlu saya beritahukan bahwa saya bukanlah orang yang sangat peduli dengan merek dan model. Lemari pakaian saya hanya berisi sedikit baju-baju yang saya pakai secara bergantian setiap hari sampai usang. Pakaian ini tidak mahal dan tidak pula berasal dari perancang ternama, namun cukup layak untuk dikenakan. Akan tetapi ada sesuatu yang menarik dengan Hard Rock sehingga apa yang saya alami sore itu mengingatkan saya kembali pada saat-saat pertama saya menyukainya.

Nuryani dan saat gembira bersama Hard Rock (serta Troll dan Linda).

Dulu saya tidak peduli dengan yang namanya Hard Rock. Sewaktu saya kerja di Jakarta dan juga saat saya berlibur ke Bali atau Melaka, saya melintasinya begitu saja. Beberapa tahun kemudian, barulah kisah Hard Rock dimulai. Ketika saya dan ayah saya keluar dari Universal Studios di Osaka, ada satu toko Hard Rock tepat di depan kita. Ayah saya ingin membelikan hadiah untuk temannya, jadi saya pun turut masuk dan membelikan satu untuk istri saya juga. Kemudian, di hari terakhir kita di Yokohama, saya juga melihat Hard Rock saat sedang berjalan-jalan di Minato Mirai, jadi saya pun mampir dan membeli sebuah kaos, kali ini untuk teman saya Parno.

Beberapa bulan setelah kunjungan ke Jepang, sebelum saya dan teman-teman menghadiri konser Bon Jovi, kita makan malam di Hard Rock Cafe Jakarta. Saat menunggu nasi goreng yang saya pesan, saya terpana menatap barang-barang peninggalan para pahlawan rock and roll yang saya kagumi. Di saat yang sama, saya seakan mendengar lirik lagu American Pie dari Don McLean dinyanyikan berulang kali dalam benak saya, "do you believe in a rock and roll? Can music save your mortal soul?"

Dekorasi di dinding, mulai dari pakaian, alat musik sampai beraneka lirik seperti we will rock you atau love is all you need, benar-benar sangat menginspirasi, membuat saya merasa bahwa di sinilah saya seharusnya berada. Di saat itu pula saya menjadi seorang penggemar Hard Rock. Saya lantas menyadari bahwa kaosnya sangat khas karena logonya disertai dengan nama kota tempatnya berasal. Ini adalah sebuah suvenir musik yang unik!

Parno berpose di depan Hard Rock Cafe Sentosa, Singapura, 2015. 

Semenjak itu, saya menyukai Hard Rock. Terkecuali Yangon (dan seperti yang anda baca di atas, kisahnya sangat ironis), saya senantiasa mengunjungi Hard Rock di setiap kota yang memiliki cabangnya. Terkadang saya membeli sesuatu untuk saya sendiri, misalnya jaket kulit yang hangat dan cocok untuk cuaca dingin di London. Namun ada kalanya saya menghadiahkannya untuk istri atau teman saya. Yang di bawah ini, misalnya. Sewaktu di Hong Kong, saat saya melihat-lihat koleksi Hard Rock, terpikirkan oleh saya bahwa kaos naga ini sepertinya akan terlihat bagus bila dipakai oleh Harry. Seminggu kemudian, hasilnya... tidak mengecewakan dan dapat jempol, haha. 

Sama halnya dengan kartu pos, petualangan mencari Hard Rock Cafe kini menjadi bagian dari liburan saya. Sejak santap malam di Hard Rock Cafe Jakarta, saya sudah menjelajahi Kuala Lumpur, London, Paris, Singapura dan Hong Kong khusus untuk mencari Hard Rock Cafe. Saya tidak sepenuhnya yakin apakah ini bisa disebut hobi, tapi jikalau bisa, hobi yang satu ini cukup menyenangkan, walau mungkin tidak akan bisa terselesaikan karena Hard Rock Cafe ada di seluruh penjuru dunia, hehe. Tujuan berikutnya? Mungkin Shanghai dan Fukuoka! 

Harry tampil meyakinkan dengan naga biru Hard Rock. 

The Sri Lanka Experience

Where will you go for your honeymoon? Maldives and New Zealand are the answers that I often got and I had always thought I would go there as well, but no, and here I was at Sri Lanka.

I could not remember how we decided, or rather I decided (wife gets to decide most of the time 😆) but it was one that I did not regret. We went on nine days trip and we had engaged a private driver that drove us around.

When we arrived on the first day in Negombo, it was past midnight and we just headed straight away to the hotel. On the way to the hotel, it was quite and dark, but we spotted a lot of baby Jesus and mother Mary statues along the way. I was quite surprised as most Sri Lankan are Buddhist. The driver told us that we were in the part of the Catholic community.

A plate of kottu.

We started our day with the local breakfast and we headed out to Dambulla. Made a few stops before we reached the hotel that evening. We were starving that we could eat a horse and fortunately, we found our favourite local food. It was called kottu. It was some sort of prata that was cut into smaller pieces and stir-fried together with vegetables and meats.

We went to Pigeon Island the next day. I saw no pigeon on that island, so I did wonder why. We had a good swim of 15 minutes to the sea together with the beach guard to see a shark. According to him it was friendly shark, so we took our chance and we did see the shark though it was only a second as it swam super fast. We saw a giant turtle as well. Too bad we didn't have time to snap a picture as they were also moving super fast.

On our way to Habarana.

Next stop was the local village in Habarana. In order to get there, we got on the small boat with the two local men. They were kind enough to make us hat from the leaves. Then, we saw the kitchen of the locals and experienced how they cooked. The food was simple but amazing, especially the chili. Oh, we also sat on the cow cart going around the village and witnessed the cow shit right in front of us while walking. Funny experience.

Our ride!

We continued to Minneriya National Park. Such an amazing view of lake with groups of elephants and the weather was nice as well. This was the view that you hardly can see in Singapore, so we took our time to relax and walked around.  

Elephants in Minneriya National Park. 

It was getting more adventurous the next day as we went to Sigiriya, the ancient rock fortress that looks like a lion. We were welcomed with the lion claw on the entrance of the rock. The fortress is about 200 metres high and you have to climbed the little stairs together with the rest of the tourists as well. It was quite an effort but once you reached the top, the view is overwhelming.

At the entrace of the rock fortress.

The structure of the fortress is awesome, how the mirror placing is supposed to distract the enemies who were coming to attack, the number of rooms for the concubines and the the swimming pool size that is humongous. These parts of the story did leave me a deeper impression for some reason.

The view from the top.

The rock fortress from afar.

From the hot Sigiriya, we were moving to the cooling climate. We were heading to the tea plantation and finally the hotel that used to be a tea factory. It is quite high up and it needs to go through many turnings before we got there. A very classic hotel interior with a peaceful view.

The hotel and the tea plantation.

The next day, at dawn about 3.30am, we started from hotel to the World’s End (Horton Plains) pick up point. We were contemplating if we should go as we were told the way up there were quite dangerous but “only” a few accidents happen in a year. But the temptation to trek and the super nice view was our buy in, so here we were, trekking for about 2 hours (including the photo taking time), sitting at the World’s End, a sheer cliff. The journey to the trek base was indeed quite scary. There was mist everywhere and we could not even see what was in front when we were in the car. That is also the reason why, only the real local people in the area are allowed to pick up passengers.

Pattipola entrance towards Horton Plains

The mist...

And the World's End!

We stopped by at the Galle Fort and ended our trip with a relaxing stay in Bentota, famous for the beach. The hotel was rather special. The rooms and the lobby are separated by the river and there is a hotel boat that transfer guests over.

Galle Fort.

The boat that brought us to Centara Ceysands Resort & Spa.

One more country checked in my bucket list!

The Gory And The Dead

I'm never a fan of anything gory or lifeless. I find it... unsettling. It's just unfortunate that in the age of social media, such photos are readily available. When I scroll down the news feed on Facebook, sometimes I get the shock of my life thanks to the pictures of poor dogs that were tortured or a bloody person lying half dead. I normally hide such posts so that I don't have to see them again next time. If only I can unsee what I just saw, too!

Recently, a woman from my hometown just passed away. She was young, beautiful and so full of life, but she collapsed and died just like that. Her death became a hot topic in our Pontianak community. In one of the chat groups, suddenly someone let out a picture of the dead body. She was half covered, revealing a blue face with a rather otherworldly expression. The photo could have been taken shortly after she died. It freaked me out and I deleted the photo immediately.

I believe the person who shared the story didn't mean any harm. Sending the picture to go along with the story was, understandably, a spontaneous act. Nevertheless, when it comes to sensitive matters like this, perhaps it's wiser to ask again, is it ethical to do so? I mean, the photo was far from flattering. What was the point, then? If we were to mourn, one way to pay our respect was by not sharing such unglamorous pictures.

If there is a very pressing need to share, for example the urge to vend out the grievance inside one's heart, it certainly can be done in a more sophisticated and presentable way. I remember a photo focusing on the hand of my friend holding her father's hand, which still had a catheter connected to it. The photo came with a simple but poignant caption. It was a powerful image that told us quite a story. I surely could relate with that.

I understand that not everybody can do that, but do note that it's only right to share something decent as a form of respect. A close up picture of a dead man or woman is definitely not something that is to be distributed easily as a public consumption. In a world where a camera phone is within our reach and the world is just one click away, perhaps what we need is to hold back and exercise caution. I reckon that it'll be a better idea to post a picture of him or her smiling while we recall the good things about them and the legacy they leave behind. I'm sure that's how they want to be remembered...

A happier moment in life that is worth remembering, though one of the friends is no longer here today...

Yang Seram Dan Yang Telah Meninggal

Saya tidak pernah menyukai foto-foto yang seram atau makhluk hidup tergeletak tak bernyawa. Secara pribadi saya merasa bahwa foto-foto tersebut sangat mengganggu secara visual. Sayang sekali, di era sosial media seperti sekarang ini, gambar seperti ini justru mudah ditemukan. Ketika saya sedang iseng melihat berita di Facebook, terkadang saya dikejutkan oleh foto-foto seperti anjing yang nyaris mati dianiaya atau orang yang berbaring di kubangan darah dalam kondisi penuh luka. Biasanya saya akan memilih untuk menyembunyikan berita tersebut sehingga tidak lagi muncul di akun saya, namun apa yang baru saja saya lihat ini akan terngiang-ngiang untuk beberapa waktu sebelum saya bisa melupakannya.

Baru-baru ini, seorang wanita meninggal di kampung halaman saya. Dia masih muda, cantik dan penuh semangat hidup, jadi tidak ada yang pernah menyangka bahwa dia akan pingsan dan meninggal begitu saja. Wafatnya wanita ini pun menjadi perbincangan hangat di komunitas orang Pontianak. Tiba-tiba saja, di salah satu grup, ada yang menampilkan foto jasadnya. Badan sang wanita tertutup kain putih, namun mukanya yang membiru masih terlihat dan raut wajahnya susah untuk dijelaskan. Sepertinya foto ini diambil sesaat setelah ia meninggal. Saya kaget saat melihat foto tersebut dan segera saya hapus saat itu juga. 

Saya percaya bahwa orang yang membagikan cerita ini tidak bermaksud buruk. Mungkin karena terlalu antusias bercerita, ia pun spontan mengirimkan foto ini sebagai ilustrasi terkini. Akan tetapi, ketika kita sedang berbicara tentang hal sensitif seperti ini, mungkin ada baiknya kita bertanya lagi, apakah etis untuk berbuat seperti ini? Maksud saya, foto yang dibagikan itu rasanya bukan foto yang ingin kita ingat tentang orang yang meninggal ini, jadi untuk apa? Jika kita ingin berduka, salah satu cara yang bisa kita lakukan sebagai penghormatan terakhir adalah dengan tidak menyebarkan gambar yang menyedihkan dan tidak manusiawi ini.

Jikalau ada perasaan untuk berbagi, misalnya karena ingin mengungkapkan rasa sedih di hati, masih ada cara yang lebih halus dan layak. Saya ingat dengan sebuah foto yang fokus pada tangan teman saya yang menggenggam erat tangan ayahnya yang masih terpasang kateter. Foto itu pun disertai keterangan singkat yang menyentuh. Sebuah gambar bisu, tetapi bercerita banyak tentang pedihnya hati orang yang ditinggal. Saya bisa turut merasakannya dalam sekali pandang.

Saya paham bahwa tidak semua orang bisa menghasilkan foto seperti itu, namun setidaknya tampilkanlah sesuatu yang pantas sebagai wujud dari rasa hormat. Gambar jarak dekat dari orang yang meninggal rasanya bukanlah konsumsi publik, jadi sebaiknya tidak disebarkan. Di dunia di mana telepon genggam berkamera senantiasa terjangkau dan berita bisa mencapai dunia luar dalam sekali unggah, mungkin ada baiknya kita menahan diri dan berpikir ulang sejenak. Akan lebih berkesan jika kita mengirimkan gambar terbaik orang tersebut sambil mengenang hal-hal terbaik darinya. Saya yakin bahwa mereka lebih memilih untuk diingat seperti ini...